as if i didn't hate winter enough i have to pay 1000 bucks to get tires just to drive in it...i am soooooo not a happy camper

So I got tagged by seminary boy#2 and then yelled at by both him and his brother to write 5 random things about myself. So much randomness hard to narrow it down to five, but here goes...

Random fact #1: I don’t eat onions, which is not unusual, lots of people don’t like onions, except I like cooking with onions. I love the smell they make when you throw them into a hot pan with garlic. So I put onions in my food only to spend 5 minutes a meal picking them right back out.

Random fact #2: I couldn’t do laundry properly if my life depended on it. I am capable of shrinking ANYTHING! Somehow even though I don’t use bleach and I wash on cold using liquid tide for cold washes, somehow clothes still come out with white “bleach” spots. I have also given up on separating darks and whites and am slowly bypassing the hamper. I take clothes right off and throw them directly into the washer, when there’s enough to warrant a load, I wash, dry and then live out of the dryer.

Random fact #3: You might not believe this, but I actually do write lots of blogs…they just don’t always end up actually making it onto my blog. I’ll have random things that I will want to blog about it I’ll start writing, get interrupted and save them on my desktop planning to come back and finish them later, which I obviously never do... At the moment I think I have files Blog #1-8 sitting on my desktop...also known as Superfatconball’s blog purgatory.

Random fact #4: I don’t respond well to physical contact. I think it causes strange biological reactions in me that usually lead to arms and legs flailing in the air, and me hurting myself from either me falling off desks, down stairs, running into walls etc.

Random fact #5: I am not graceful…*GASP* I know what a shocker. But I maintain that it I because I was traumatized as a child. See, when I was like four some stroke of genius inspired my mother to believe that stuffing me in a pink tutu and sending me off to ballet lessons would be a good idea...Except she signed me up for the same class as Amy since she didn’t want to drive us twice. So being at least two year younger and shorter than everyone in the class, my short legs couldn’t reach the stupid ballet bar and the teacher had to give me a stool on the side...scarring nicknames included her little squash and little elephant...and then there was that super traumatic event during our annual performance...you guys would love the story...but...*sigh* it’s just...too painful...

So I think I'm supposed to tag 5 people...I have no clue who still reads this thing...um...so it will be amy and michelle...i think you read this coz you love me (or are related to me)...grace hui, cho and jesse coz i read your blogs and it doesn't look like you've been tagged yet.....soooo....TAG! YOU'RE IT!!!

Was reading a nostalgic blog post this morning reminiscing about simpler times as children when things were fresh and new and how our lives should be lived like them, filled with excitement for such "firsts".

And looking at my own lists of firsts from my last post I see that is how I sometimes tend to define and evaluate my life as well. Recently Seminary Boy #1 (his younger brother is Seminary Boy #2) has been trying to get me to do one of this seminary/leadership exercises of creating a life timeline. I figured it'd be an interesting activity so I gave it a stab. And it's been pretty interesting thinking of all the events and "firsts" and it was fun to remember all the things that I've done and experienced and places.

I love learning and trying new things...almost to a fault like if you come visit my apartment you will see the evidence of all sorts of hobbies I begin, but don't get all that far with coz somewhere along the road the novelty of it wears off and something new catches my eye. It is fun and all, but honestly sometimes rather frivolous.
Then there is my big sister, who though I call her a nerd, I do admire (shhh don't tell her). Somehow as she goes along life trying new things (she went from library arts school, to applying for business school to wanting to be a teacher, to applying to dental school) she finds something that she likes enough to grow to love...even if to me it is of the strangest sorts...like teeth...I figured after 4 years of dental school and months of residency the novelty would wear off (because really who gets excited about teeth?!?!?), but still today I see the passion she has for what she does and the twinkle that gets in her eye when she is amongst her teethy friends (think they're called dentists) and they talk about teeth and teeth related things. I make fun of it and I don't think as a younger sister I'll ever stop, but it is kinda amazing (in a strange nerdy kinda way) and I do hope that it never goes away.

I think that's why significant moments like a child's first steps are so incredibly amazing and full of wonder not because of the steps in themselves, but because it's those firsts that mark the beginning of a lifelong journey of walking, running, leaping and dancing.

So I add my bit to the blog I read, that life is not just to live for firsts, but to live to find those firsts that will lead to seconds, thirds, fourths to start a journey and a passion that will stay with one forever.

Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes…

Today marks my one year in the working world…wow one year in Edmonton…boy how times flies…

Since it’s time for rent increases, car insurance renewals and all that fun stuff I figured it’s probably time see what I’ve done with myself.

When people ask me what’s up, my usual reply is nothing much. And a lot of times I feel like I’ve been moving backwards, but a lot actually has happened this past year and I’ve actually learned a lot.
Strange though, how far where I thought I’d be can be from where I actually am.

Just a few of the things that happened this year:

- First real job
- First car
- First car accident
- First life insurance policy
- First electric guitar (that dream of becoming a rock star however may take longer than I thought to realize)
- First family reunion
- First experience of –45C weather (with no wind-chill)
- First high school reunion (…which I couldn’t get time off to go to)
- First Futon (bought 8 months after I moved here)
- First heartbreak
- Baby sister goes off to university
- First two engagements of ACF people in my year
- Attended 2 weddings and a funeral
- First resignation

Thanks to all those who have been here for me, put up with my whining, laughed with me and cried with me...love you guys =)


And of course to end off I will quote my favorite musical (I’ve never seen but know all the words to):

525,600 minutes, 525,000 moments so dear.
525,600 minutes - how do you measure, measure a year?
In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee.
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife.
In 525,600 minutes - how do you measure a year in the life?
How about love? How about love? How about love?
Measure in love. Seasons of love.

525,600 minutes, 525,000 journeys to plan.
525,600 minutes - how can you measure the life of a woman or man?

In truths that she learned, or in times that he cried.
In bridges he burned, or the way that she died.
It's time now to sing out, tho the story never ends
let's celebrate remember a year in the life of friends.

Remember the love...Measure in love...

finally bought a blender...am having a fruit smoothie...YUM!
...also signed up for kung fu classes...hope i am not becoming davin, i kinda like having hair :P

*Delete Forever*

Finally took the courage to clean out my inbox.
263 emails full of inside jokes, plans, promises, apologies and prayers…that are no more…
figured it’d be easier without them sitting there reminding me all the time, but made the mistake of reading one…it just feels like it’s all happening all over again…and once again I lose.

my baby sister's gone off to university....boy does that make me feel old.

One of the worst feelings in the world is you realize that you are replaceable.
You go on believing that you’re important to something, but then you realize that it can go on just as well without you. And so you’re left feeling useless, foolish and like you just got punched really really hard in the stomach.

This awful rainy day has become my official mope-and-feel-sorry-for-myself-and-count-all-the-things-I-wish-I-were-and-had day.

I wish I was better, stronger…i wish i had my own song...

The Weather Network says tomorrow will be mainly sunny…hope they’re right.

ten days till i come home....can't wait!!!

so, my wrist started hurting yesterday when i was practicing guitar and now all worried about like carpal tunnel or something like that...so i got myself an ergonmic keyboard (well stole it really from a girl who left, but my friend in IT said it's ok)...a fancy schmacy one with the split keyboard...it's more comfy and stuff like that, but now i have a problem...

see, i never really ever learned to type properly. i can type at a decent pace, but just with my fingers on all the wrong keys...so yes this is proving to be just a little difficult...urgh

but yeah at least i'm not a two finger typer...our senior mechanical engineer went on vacation once and the guy popped all his keys out and put in back in the wrong order and he came back and couldn't figure out what was wrong.... hehe
(see i had to throw that in there to show that there are people worse than me at this typing thing, but now i will go back to work coz as much as i don't like doing it, it involves mainly the typing of numbers and the number pad thank goodness is the same).

summer in edmonton = connie sitting at home in a sweatshirt in the middle of june with a horrible cold = really sucky

can't wait to come home...

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!

I have finally made it past the 6-month mark of my time at Stantec.
Not that it’s hard or really a big deal…but it does mean that I start getting dental coverage…and finally get to pull out those annoying wisdom teeth that have been causing me pain for the last 3 years but I’ve been too poor to get pulled.
But I think I will save it for when summer's over and use it as an excuse to take a bunch of sick days when weather's crappy and I need a break from work.

Connie wants to be a rock star!!!!!!!!!!

rescue call...

simon's blog quoted a stat from somewhere that 90% of people fake a cell phone conversation at least once a month...was talking about this with some ago collegues a while back after some heated discussion started during a meeting about the future of our department which our boss conveniently had to cut short because he had a "conference call" to go to and a collegue compared it to the episode of sex in the city where charlotte gets carrie to call her to get her out of the bad date she's on.

well today i was surfing around the fido website and discovered a new service they call the "resue call" where you can either preset a time and date that you will need it or just dial #22 and they will give you a fake call to bail you out of whatever situation you're in...(it costs 50 cents so i don't know why you don't just set your phone's alarm to go off whenever you need to escape)
i also remember reading somewhere in the states that there's rejection number that you can give to people which plays them a "you have been rejected" message when they call it and proceeds to call them a loser or something like that.. i dunno, but i find that a tad harsh..what happened to just saying no?

have we become so afraid of rejection that we can't even be honest when giving it?

from friday's utmost...meant to post this since, but never got around to it...

Certainty is the mark of the commonsense life— gracious uncertainty is the mark of the spiritual life. To be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways, not knowing what tomorrow may bring. This is generally expressed with a sigh of sadness, but it should be an expression of breathless expectation. We are uncertain of the next step, but we are certain of God. As soon as we abandon ourselves to God and do the task He has placed closest to us, He begins to fill our lives with surprises.

Oswald Chambers...another super wise man...

i worry too much. i should know better, He has always been so good.

so....must learn to take things one task at a time.
well, one of the "tasks placed closest" at the moment is teaching 13 9th graders sunday school.
i am a tad nervous...going through the syllabus i was given hoping that it would give me some kinda clue as to how to relate to 9th graders, but no real luck...
really don't wanna be another irrelevant old person that doesn't get what they are going through...hopefully i will have something real worth sharing...
so yes if i have not already pestered you for advice and if you have some to give please do...oh yeah yuling...any books?

yes i know...placing inpressionable young minds in my care...what were they thinking... =P

...as if religion were something God invented, and not His statement to us of certain quite unalterable facts about His own nature...

quite a few times while reading mere christianity have i had to stop, take a deep breath and just go...wow...
he goes from an intellectual discourse on the existence of God, to basic and pratical application in morals and virtues in the world we are in, yet points forward to eternity reminding us that we follow these virtues not to get into heaven, but to become a "certain sort of person" that would find joy when we get there...and then goes to tie it in the end with theology and the purpose behind it all...

i could ramble on forever about things that stood out to me and probably end up quoting half the book...but for now this one really sticks out...

Do not waste time bothering whether you 'love' your neighbor; act as if you did. As soon as we do this we find one of the great secrets. When you are behaving as if you loved someone, you will presently come to love him... ...Do not sit trying to manufacture feelings [for God]. Ask yourself, 'If I were sure that I loved God, what would I do?' When you have found the answer, go and do it.

once again...wow...challenging no?

speaking of challenge, yuling has once again begun (and begun pestering other people about...and don't get me wrong the "pestering" is much needed) his 10 book challenge.
so far i am 0 for 2, with 5.5 books being last summer's count...but this year it will be different (i know i said the same thing last year...but it will). i have actually been good lately and reading a fair bit (of course having said that i will probably jinx myself and never read again).

i am trying to create a well balanced reading list...i know so far it's so far it consists of...i am open to recommendations

1) Rediscovering Church - Lynne and Bill Hybels
2) Jesus Amoung Other Gods - Ravi Zacharias
3) Hiding Place - Corrie Ten Boom
4) The Story We Find Ourselves In -Brian McLaren
5) The Last Word and the Word After That - Brian McLaren
6) The Life You've Alway Wanted - John Ortberg
7) Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
8) The Davinci's Code - Dan Brown
9) Rich Dad Poor Dad - Robert Kiyosaki
10) The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy (the whole trilogy of five) - Douglas Adams

i know the last two are kinda iffy....my friend recommended the rich/poor book when she realized that i have no clue about money...and have none for that matter...
and for the hitchhiker's guide...i know it's not the most deep and significant book, but i'm reading 5 for 1 so it should be ok... and once again, i am open for suggestions...

...and yes you may have noticed that i am back to blogging...i had been reluctant to blog since i didn't always feel i had something to blog about and that it wouldn't be amusing....well i was reminded the other day that people don't just come to my blog for amusement, but might actually care what has been going on in my life while i'm all the way in edmonton...so...YEAH!!!...i have friends! =)

Connie spoke too soon...

today it rains...sunday it snows...BAH!

Connie likes:

- summery weather
- driving with the sunroof open
- impromptu Sunday afternoon barbecues
- cheese filled smokies

Edmonton’s not bad in the spring/summer...think it’s trying to convince people not to hate it after snowing on them all winter... =P

so...as promised i will tell you if the day following my good day was good as well...*drum roll....* and.....the answer is......it was ok... (hahaha...i know i'm gonna get kicked for that =P)

and most my days are ok here...so yes don't be worrying about me being all alone and depressed here, coz i'm not...i do get bored sometimes...and living on my own i have on rare occasions i have caught myself talking to myself...i also have bad days where i give myself whiplash or a massive bump on my head (other stories for other days), but usually they are ok...

there's nothing wrong with an ok day...nothing goes wrong...yet nothing extraordinary happens either. you get used to ok days, learn to be happy with them and go one having one after another of them...but then every once in a while a little sparkle enters, and you get to leave your usual routine for a bit, connect and get a glimsp of a little something beyond your own little life...and the day turns into a good one.

good days since my last blog: 2

today was a good day. don't get too many of those...i hope tomorrow will be one too.

i'll let you know if it is...

hehe...i'm working on a project for this place called battle river...and there's a section in it called skulls island...feel like i should wear a patch to work with a parrot on my shoulder...

FREE FOOOOD

yeah good news just keeps coming doesn't it? for our "dedication and commitment" to the company in 2004 (for me it's only 3 weeks) we get a $30 grocery store coupon.

hm...how many shrimp rings can i buy for 30 bucks...
mmmmmm I LOVE shrimp rings!!!!

10....9...8....7...6..5...4....3...2............................1

only 10 days till i come home for christmas!!!

i am excited....that is all...

so cold...so snowy....so sad....so many 3-inch heels i cannot wear in the snow without my toes freezing and me breaking my back...
on a quest to find winter shoes that i can walk to work in -26 degree weather in but do not look like i'm wearing my grandma's shoes. if you have suggestions of places to look please tell me...

i come to work 20 minutes early every single day...how come it's the one day i show up 5 minutes late that my boss decides to come in 5 minutes early?

but still it is a good morning. we had a christmas "party" (just food and booze) yesterday in the office and the store forgot three platters of food and brought them after everyone left so there are three huge platters of meats and cheeses in the fridge this morning. my stomach will probably complain about this later...but...mmmm meat...mmmmm cheese

GRRR...i'm back...

yes remember that annoying girl that would pester and whine and nag about people signing her guestbook? well she's back...this time about her comments.

come on guys i'm starting to post again...i know not the most frequent or the most exciting...but still...give me some motivation...i'm still in the frail beginning state...if i get discouraged i might stop again....so yes let me know you've stopped by, even if it's just to say hi...please? please....pretty please?

cubical update...

my new cubie is nice...big bright with a nice big window too..it's all nice and pretty outside with the (still white) snow. the only thing wrong with being able to look outside is that poorly insulated window's make it feel like you ARE outside.
as i am typing this i am wearing gloves and a scarf...INDOORS!!!
guess it does keep me awake at work...but still...caffine does the job good enough...
i have already started wearing tights under my pants to walk to work...will slowly move into longjohns and then flannel lined pants...darned me for being too cheap to pay for parking...

Whenever there is doubt—wait....Wait for God’s timing and He will do it without any heartache or disappointment. When it is a question of the providential will of God, wait for God to move.
- oswald chambers, my utmost for his highest

my usual reaction when there is doubt is to run around like a chicken with it's head cut off....guess waiting's a better idea, huh?

on a totally unrelated note i walked outside today took a deep breath and felt something i hadn't in a very long time...stuff inside my nose froze...ew i know...and to imagine it only gets colder from here.

EVERYTHING WE DO IN LIFE THAT HAS ETERNAL VALUE HINGES ON TWO THINGS: LOVING GOD AND LOVING OTHERS
- Stormie Omartianm, Power of a Praying Woman

someone asked me what my passion was...and honestly i didn't really know what to say...

i seen myself as rather average. not particular good at anything, i do things that i do, some of which i enjoy and others i don't really but do anyways and that was that. i envied people who were "passionate" about the things they do...art, music...even school...sometimes i'd go out and try to "find" my passion.
dabbled in this and that and never really got anywhere.

this summer we did a spiritual gifts test...and my biggest turned out to be hospitality (with bits of mercy). yeah hospitality...what the....people get wisdom and faith and preaching and teaching and all that stuff and...i get hospitality...no fair!

but then i read the above and it really really struck something in my heart...people...guess what! that's it...I LOVE PEOPLE...had let myself forget that...

i think i used to know it. looking in the past at my life and the ministries that i've been involved with, the times that i've felt i was where i was supposed to be, i was with people...and more than that serving them and knowing that the little that i was doing would make a difference. i was pretty gung-ho about it too...

so yes...my passion is serving people. never ever thought of that as a passion...had preferred to have been able to paint , write a book or play an instrument or something...so i let it slip and for a while thought that it was the ministries themselves that were my purpose, so i got into the logistics and planning which is a passion for some, but it was draining and i didn't like doing it so much anymore.

and this whole summer at TCBC with the whole purpose driven thing and spiritual gfits etc etc etc i was looking at myself and trying to find who i was and what God wanted me to be doing.
figured i could bother about other people and serving after i had myself all worked out. is the same attitude i carried over to edmonton and has made me quite bitter since i just haven't been able to work it out.

then this all came to me like i got hit in the head with a frying pan (don't really know how that actually feels but amy did drop a pot on my head when we were small)...first i felt so dumb coz it had taken me so long to figure out something so simple that i had known before...but then i was soooo thankful and couldn't stop it with the praise and i dunno made me feel i dunno....alive?
not that i have my life all defined or anything...far from it...but i have a feeling i'm back on the right path now. make sense?

so yes i don't ever want to forget this again...if later in life you find that i have...yes, you may hit me on the head with a frying pan

MOVING ON UP!

...well not really...just one cubical over and across from where i used to be, but it's got a window, the chair's got armrests, the computer's got a CD rom (still no sound card tho) and it's not on the engineering manager's way out of his office...so hopefully no more tapping fingers that scare the heck out of me.
so nice to look up and see the outside with the sun shining and happy stuff like that...of course it will get depressing when everything outside turns white, and then brown...and stays that way for months....but i will enjoy this while i can. YEAH!

yeah telephone calls are fun. thanks grace for calling and totally making my day....hehe someone loves me =)

ARGH
the plan was to come home christmas and take the extra DVD player just lying around at home (i paid for it so it's ok) to watch all the movies you guys will be recommending me on my previous post. but then i took a look at the old hunk of junk my aunt gave me (the up and down channel buttons don't work and only go to channels 3, 8, 11 and 13 so you have to punch each number in...makes channel surfing rather difficult) and THERE'S NOWHERE TO PLUG ANYTHING INTO IT!!!
i checked front, back, sides....no...nothing...AHHHHHHH

simon and his friends are all doing this survey thing on their blogs where you recommend them books, music and movies...realized how much of a hole i've been living in since i can't really think of that last good book i've read...or any book at all. i'm still listening to music from my dad's generation and i haven't seen a movie since the summer....so i'll let you guys fill it out for me...don't worry you get something out of it too...
here goes...

(A) First, recommend to me:
1. a movie:
2. a book:
3. a musical artist, song, or album:

(B) I want everyone who reads this to ask me three questions, no more, no less. Ask me anything you want.

(C) Then I want you to go to your journal, copy and paste this allowing your friends to ask you anything.

went to the store with joni to buy food. reached for the no name brand smoked turkey, but let joni convince me to spring for the low fat "lean and tastey" one for 1 cent more...mistake. tastes like rubber...am reminded why i had sworn off low fat stuff till then...shiver...never again...fat is my friend...

but speaking of friends...i am finally starting to get some here...
i know i'm long due for some pics, so here are some of the girls at church.
here we (next to me in the cap is aimee, then becca, karen, irene and cel) are pigging out on some yummy pie that joni topped with delicious icecream...neither of which were fat free thank you :P
 

been waiting for a real good story to tell you all about, but realizing more and more that something like that is not likely gonna happen soon and even me looking at my own blog not being updated is getting on my nerves. so until anything exciting happens in my life i will blog about everyday randomness...i guess like i always have...

but yes life here is not the most exciting. it's stable and nice (got a permanent job so that good) but not exciting. work is work learning alot but I just sit in my office (they call it an office but it's just a cubical with three walls and when the engineering manager walks by he likes to run his fingers along desks the passes and it's kinda weird...but guess it keeps me on my toes) and do work. this weeks it's PSV sizing. every once in a while i'll go for drinks with my collegues on fridays which is kinda funny coz they are the same stereotypical crude yet still nerdy engineers that i've gone to school with for the past 4 years...but then we get back to the office and we don't really talk. my best friend in the office is spot...the animated microsoft office help assistant...and i know he doesn't have any spots...but still. a guy from church who does tech support for office says the one most common thing people call to ask about is how to get rid of those stupid annoying things...and i used to find them annoying as ever too, but....now he's my only friend.

i know i know you're all feeling sorry for me...but don't it's not all bad here...i have learned how to steam fish and make some good chinese soup so i am well fed...wait...that means i'm just gonna get mighty fat sitting in my cubical all day...oh...boo...

well today was a day of firsts...

- first time i've driven to work
- first time i've had to brush and scrap snow and ice off a windshield
- first time i've driven in the snow
- and actually.......it's the first time i've driven by myself EVER

...i know it's scary, connie's out on the loose. but really i'm not that dangerous...probably because right now i drive even slower than my mother does =P

BAH! there's no more escaping it...woke up this morning and edmonton's covered in snow...and probably will be for the next six months...and i hate snow...which of course makes edmonton not so good a place for me to be...i am not pleased

tada! i'm back.
yes i fell into an internetless ditch since i've been in edmonton so i hadn't had a chance to update about what's been going on, but now i'm infront of the computer and SOOOOO much has happened that i don't know even know where to start...so i'm gonna put it off a little longer and try to collect my thoughts. but something happened today that i just HAD to announce to the world...teeheehee...i'm all giddy just thinking about it....

today i made the biggest purchase i have ever made in my entire life...yup i got off work , dropped into mazda, and BOUGHT ME A CAR!!!

i know i know with rent and living expeneses and the very little that i'm getting paid, i'll be paying it off for the rest of my life...but it's so pretty and i'm so happy...i still can't drive worth crap, but the law says i am allowed to and now i have something to drive...so...hehehe...watch out cows stay off the road! =P

but yeah all excitement aside, simon (the boyfriend) reminded me that the first car is a life milestone...wow graduation, moving out, job (even if it's just a short term contract), first car...wow it's like i'm actually headed somewhere...and don't worry with car payments and insurance, it's not the mall.

just packed my life into three suitcases...leaving for edmonton tomorrow....if you haven't talked to me in the last two weeks...yes i am moving to edmonton for the year...long story that i'll probably post later.
so yeah off to live with the cows...tata!

arrived in one piece in edmonton. interview's in 36 hours, but for the meantime am seeing family and friends and enjoying being VERY well fed =)

Out of the depths I cry to you, O LORD ;
O Lord, hear my voice.
Let your ears be attentive
to my cry for mercy.

If you, O LORD , kept a record of sins,
O Lord, who could stand?
But with you there is forgiveness;
therefore you are feared.

I wait for the LORD , my soul waits,
and in his word I put my hope.
My soul waits for the Lord
more than watchmen wait for the morning,
more than watchmen wait for the morning.

O Israel, put your hope in the LORD ,
for with the LORD is unfailing love
and with him is full redemption.
He himself will redeem Israel
from all their sins.

Sometimes it's hard for me to believe God's grace that can wipe away the darkest of sins and change even the hardest of hearts especially when I look at my own and the things that I have done, but in the past have always been encouraged when I read Isaiah...

Though your sins are like scarlet,
they shall be as white as snow;
though they are red as crimson,
they shall be like wool.

but I think when it's quoted, or at least when I quote it I forget the verse that follows...

If you are willing and obedient,
you will eat the best from the land
but if you resist and rebel,
you will be devoured by the sword

so often I go into autopilot thinking that God will change me, but then forget that I must obey him and let myself be changable.
obedience...so hard at times...but must believe that God's promises are true and that in the end He will give me what's best, wash my sins clean and change my heart.

yeah we broke our perfect record...go RECON!

WILD GOOSE

In about ten minutes i will be off on my first camping trip ever, since wilderness in hong kong is that patch of grass between highways. It's not hardcore camping or anything, but still will be an interesting experience...we'll see if i survive.

wow...got a totally random email from jessi, my roommate from my junior year in highschool. haven't talked to her in years and last i remember she was off to bucknell, playing tennis, seeing some guy who's name i don't remember and still hating calculus. but now she's done school and getting ready to be shipped off to honduras to join the Peace Corps...somehow my sitting on my bum here in toronto doesn't seem quite as exciting in comparison. i know that you don't have to go off and do something "big" to be living a significant life, but can't help but have that "wow" cross your mind when you hear of someone going off and doing something like that.

as for my own updates, i finally got my first job interview! it's just the initial interview so no promises, but at least it's a glimmer of hope after not getting a single response having sent out at least 150 resumes. hopefully it will be the first of many...of which one or some will lead to actual jobs. 
but yeah really trying to learn the meaning of matthew 6:33 to "seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness" and trust that He'll take care of the rest. with the whole job situation i tend to worry quite a bit and i can't help but feel unprepared for interviews and underqualified for jobs, but i was reminded by a little girl today that "everything is possible for him who believes" (mark 9:23). so pray for me for tomorrow and i'll let you all know how it goes.

time for another online survey

got this one off steph's site apparently i am:


An SECF--Sober Emotional Constructive Follower. This makes you a hippie. You are passionate about your causes and steadfast in your commitments. Once you've made up your mind, no one can convince you otherwise. Your politics are left-leaning, and your lifestyle choices decidedly temperate and chaste.
You do tremendous work when focused, but usually you operate somewhat distracted. You blow hot and cold, and while you normally endeavor on the side of goodness and truth, you have a massive mean streak which is not to be taken lightly. You don't get mad, you get even.
____________________________________________________________________________________

....."you do tremendous work when focused but usually operate somewhat distracted"....how true....there's truth to the massive mean streak part too...so watch out!

supa has joined a gym...hopefully i will have enough discipline to stick with it and be able to eventually change my nickname. i get one free hour with the personal trainer tomorrow. we had a quick interview after which he concluded that i have no diet discipline and he needs to create a workout that will "blast my abs and thighs". i think tomorrow he will also do that fat measuring thing where he will pinch my underarms and tell me how much of me is blubber...FUN!

but yes discipline in general is definitely something i need to work on. it's actually getting harder since i'm really settling into bumming around and not really having anything pressing to do. at least i've started the job search again (can't call it a hunt coz it's not that intense yet), but the lack of response is slightly discouraging. so with that most things i'm kinda cyclical, i'll start doing it coz i know i should, but then there aren't really any results so i get lazy and slow down and then go slower and eventually stop and bum for a while then i get sick of how idle i've gotten i start getting all gung-ho about it again for a bit, but then the same thing happens.
uncle simon (once again not the boyfriend) was saying in sunday school last week how most seemingly purposeless people aren't lacking a calling, but the discipline to carry it out...man...i really need a kick in the butt (not literally, so don't actually start kicking me)

so yes i figured i'd start building my discipline with a couple things to work on.
- waking up no later than 10am
- doing my devos in the morning rather than shoving them in right before i sleep (i've tried doing this many times, but doesn't ever really last long)
- apart from devos spend an hour reading either the bible or bible related book
- spend at least 2 hours a day searching and applying to jobs
- and since i paid for it, i will work out at the gym on a regular basis. the goal is 2-3 time a week, working up to 3-4 times a week within the next month

....hm....man almost intimidated already...hope i'm not biting off more i can chew...but i will try this for now and see how it goes. and since you guys all know about it you can ask me about it and make sure i'm on track...but once again no real butt kicking please...so yeah...i guess we'll see how things goes....

Tko's comment reminds me of a post i was gonna post but then got to lazy to...this happens alot which is why there are never any posts.

but yes last month some of us unemployed graduated bums decided to get into a van and travel south of the border to chicago (since we couldn't afford anything further). it turned out to be a time of good fun, food, laughs, standing ovations and of course quotes for the wall...

Nathan:
"I conserve my pee like a dog"

Nathan's mandom (the name of his aftershave):
"everyone loves a man, everyone loves a lover, man o mandon"

Yuling:
"i got mad viagra"

sign for a chinese bun (bow) shop:
"wow bow - fine asian buns"

so if you hadn't noticed i'd been hiding in a blogging ditch since school's been out. guess i've been waiting for something to happen to me that's worth blogging about. not to say the summer's been completely uneventful, but i keep putting it off expecting something else to come along.

...but...was reminded today at church as our pastor encouraged us to start each day on the right note, i realized that i've started my summer on a slightly sour note and from there the song's been a little off. for some reason i have been unable to get myself excited about the rest of my life. most times when i think of it, it just bothers me that i don't know what i'm supposed to be doing. simon keeps trying to convince me that that's part of the excitement, coz possibilities are endless and it gives me a chance to really trust God (...am trying, but still have a long ways to go with that i guess).

then today uncle simon (incase you're confused that's sunday-school-teacher-simon not boyfriend-simon...i do not call my boyfriend uncle) also challenged us to think of the here and now of our life's purpose. often we keep saying we'll do god's purpose when we find our life's purpose and so our purposes now are to find our purposes, which is quite the crock of bull and an excuse to be complacent christians and I admit lately i’ve been guilty of it. been justifying it as a break after school to rest and prepare for the rest of my life which i think to an extent is true. but honestly i’ve been doing a whole lot of resting and not much preparing. so i’m gonna try starting this whole postschool summer thing again…the right way this time.

will try to update more often to let you guys know how it’s going.

done and done

was sitting infront of tim horton's waiting for paula and was looking at people walking by...i wonder how i missed it for so many years, but seriously all the girls here all look exactly the same. apparently the look to have is the wanna be casual "i just rolled out of bed" little tank/sweatshirt and sweatpant/capris/jean one...but really, who rolls out of bed with perfect hair and a ton of makeup. hm

ok i am officially a pack rat...i just went threw the stuff i've accumulated the four years i've been in london...and it's insane!! i threw away two shopping carts full of papers and random things, packed 6 bags of clothes for goodwill, have built a fort in my living room with boxes of my stuff...yet somehow my closest is still full and my room doesn't look like i'm packed at all...i got rather frustrated with the packing, but then i realized how much i have. i have everything i need and sooooo much more. sometimes i forget how much i've been blessed with and so often i take it for granted. really need to learn to appreciate the things i have, and not just the materialistic, but people and opportunities and relationships. i have a lot to be thankful for =)

wah yesterday's hazardous medical waste treatment plant tour was a little more fun than i had expected it to be...oh yeah and we're doing a project on it so it's not like we just go places like that for the fun of it.

but yeah i had been dreading this tour since it's just the three of us from my group driving there with my solid wastes prof, also thought i'd be grossed out by nasty anatomical parts and ewwy gooey nasty stuff (like the stuff they throw over the fence in fight club), but turns out they burn some other stuff too...

our tour turned out to be right in the middle of a police narcotics burning. and man THERE WERE SO MANY DRUGS...they were just wheeling them in in those huge garbage containers. i counted 20 and there were more on their way in. it was like something from a movie. there were like 7 cops guarding the incinerator and 3 with machine guns and two more armed ones guarding the unloading and just people all over the place....was crazy, but made the tour a little more exciting.

360+ pages printed and bound mark the end of my fourth year design project.
such a huge load lifted

bowling with friends is fun.

and matthea is crazy, herb is "agile and graceful", rob is a yam and apparently my head is shaped like a turnip.

a flyer on my door today informs me that the A&P across the street became a 24 hour one as of yesterday...

just in time to meet all those late night, mid-studying studying chip, chocolate, meatball etc. cravings. me's gonna get real fat this exam period.

haven't done an online quiz in quite a while now...and you know how addicted to those things i was...so here's a nice and short one...(somehow the picture wouldn't show when i pasted the thing in, but me being too lazy to figure out why i just left it)


you are the cute but psycho happy bunny. You
adorable, but a little out there. It's alright,
you might not have it all, but there are worse


which happy bunny are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

....sigh it's so close yet....so far away....

things between me and the end of my academic career...

1) thesis report
2) design project
3) process control project report
4) solid waste design report
5) final exams
6) 27 days of no sleep


a side note: if you're making a lot of photocopies and too lazy to close the cover each time....DON'T LOOK DOWN...i am still seeing lights.

hehe...my precious...

got my ring yesterday after some weird wanna be cultish ceremony.
almost lost my ring today when i was showering. i think we should take bets as to how long till i really lose it and need to get a replacement

also saw my first lady bug today, although it's a sign that long awaited spring has arrived...but i hate those things

today i waited almost an hour and paid some guy in a white robe 100 bucks to tell me that it would cost another $1200 to get my widsom teeth pulled.
i'm seriously rethinking the amy option...

ok so i left my computer unguarded with blogger logged in and simon got to it posting "connie's all paranoid that one day i'm going to sneak onto her computer and post stupid things on her blog when she isn't looking. can you believe that? where does she come up with these things? "...which explains why i get paranoid about him posting, but yes i tried deleting it, but it stayed there, and my sister thought it was my alter ego writing about me being paranoid of me posting, so i posted to clarify that it was simon, but then in doing so it deleted the one he posted leaving just my post...so i had to delete it or else you'd all really thing i was crazy, but i'd have to post something else to do so so i'd thought i'd explain the whole deal.

buuut it it seems in my attempt to not appear insane i think i have made the situation worse....but yes the point is simon is dumb and i'm not crazy...really...

yeah!...lots of bath an body works lotion and olive garden later, i am full and smelling like a mixture of sweet pea, white flower ginger, plumeria, cucumber melon and fresia. although i only bought one thing for myself, it was quite a satisfying trip.
however it will not be the food and the goods that make this trip one to remember

about 15 minutes back through the canadian border, caleb's car, which he today named the turd mobile decided to not want to move...so we all pulled over and being the asians we are all pulled out our cell phones made a whole bunch of calls and then sat and waited for the tow truck.
it's actually kinda neat sitting in the car on the highway with cars passing you by in the dark, kinda relaxing till you think about urban legends of all the horrible things they say happen to people in stopped cars on highways in the dark of the night...but then again i don't think any of them involved 3 carfulls of loud asians and their cellphones...

only 2 days left till outlet shopping...must prepare...

mmm....codeine is my best friend...

AHHH!!!!

what are the chances, the night before our fourth year design presentations, the engineering computer network crashes...
wanna know who did it? a computer engineering class writing their networking exam...how ironic.
if we weren't screwed, i'd be laughing really hard

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT!!

date: march 2nd, 2004
time: 9-11am
where: in my area
what: MY FIRST IN CAR LESSON!!!

yes i will actually be on the road...in a car...driving it...or at least trying to...hehehehehe

i told you i'd give you advanced warning...so yes, it is now time to start fearing for your lives.

so tired...i want to die...or just sleep a really really long time...
and i'm home alone...i need friends...

wheee...after learning two semesters' worth of process control in 24 hours, no sleep and an exam, reading week finally begins...FREEDOM...that is until wednesday when i come back and have daily dates with the chem lab from 9am-6pm for like the rest of my life...but i will think about that wednesday at 9

Supa on wheels...

i know the world never thought it would see this day, but in 7.5 hours i will be starting driver's ed.
yes at 22 years of age i am finally gonna try to learn to drive. (however matt still holds the record for being the biggest bum =P)

don't worry yet tho, it's only in classes for now...so the streets of London will be safe for another couple of weeks.
i'll give you guys a heads up for when you'll need to fear for your lives....hehe

vroom vroom....

stupid me...how does one forget sometime so important!?!?!??! spend my whole academic career looking forward to one thing and then when it comes i forget about it...
i have an assignment due today and spent all yesterday working on it and completely forgot about my iron ring info session. argh my brain is useless.
i guess it's not the biggest deal since it's an info session and not the actual ceremony...hopefully it's not a mandatory one...but still i was so excited...argh..

iron ring...mmm ring.....ooo...my precious...

LIFE AS I KNOW IT IS OVER!!!

today i heard news that will change my life forever......and no it's not the proposed changes in NHL regulations...

my roomate informed me today that they changed all the coin operated washer in our laundry room to take a loonie and a quarter for a load. a LOONIE!!! i've spent my whole life, well last two and a half years of it, finding every possible way to breaking those things up into like shiny quarters (refer to April 5th, 2002's post)...and now i have to collect both loonies and quarters...i don't know if i can handle this!!!
oh but this is not all...the loonies wasn't the only piece of bad news rosey brought back from the laundry room. she had gone to do her laundry returning only to find that her new track pants were missing...she had fallen prey to the evil laundry stealer.

but seriously, who steals laundry?!?!? it's so disturbing! can you imagine some random person poking through your clothes and touching all your "intimates"...*shudder* but worst of all they stole her NEW track pants. they were so nice and new and she was so happy with them...stupid laundry thieves. now we all have to guard our laundry

...or i guess the way to avoid all this would be to give up on doing laundry alltogether...hm...small price to pay...j/k =P

hm...so i guess the trial run of the comments thingy was a success. 15 comments in only a week, that's more than my guestbook got in like a month...and there was no teeth pulling or whining involved either...keep up the good work guys!

i think i like the comment thing. it's neat to see who still reads this thing and who has blogs of their own...like dor, since when did you have a blog, but then again, every asian person seems to have one.

ok so i added comments to my blog. it is only a trial thing tho . i think if it ends up and unused as my guestbook i might do away with both of them...

haven't done an online quiz in a while...and you all know how i love those.
well found this one on Cho's blog.

here are my results:

Connie, you exhibit an even balance between left- and right- hemisphere dominance and a slight preference for visual over auditory processing. With a score this balanced, it is likely that you would have slightly different results each time you complete this self-assessment quiz.

You are a well-rounded person, distinctly individualistic and artistic, an active and multidimensional learner. At the same time, you are logical and disciplined, can operate well within an organization, and are sensitive towards others without losing objectivity. You are organized and goal-directed. Although a "thinking" individual, you "take in" entire situations readily and can act on intuition.

You sometimes tend to vacillate in your learning styles. Learning might take you longer than someone of equal intellect, but you will tend to be more thorough and retain the material longer than those other individuals. You will alternate between logic and impulse. This vacillation will not normally be intentional or deliberate, so you may experience anxiety in situations where you are not certain which aspect of yourself will be called on.

With a slight preference for visual processing, you tend to be encompassing in your perceptions, process along multidimensional paths and be active in your attacking of situations or learning.

Overall, you should feel content with your life and yourself. You are, perhaps, a little too critical of yourself -- and of others -- while maintaining an "openness" which tempers that tendency. Indecisiveness is a problem and your creativity may not be in keeping with your potential. Being a pragmatist, you downplay this aspect of yourself and focus on the more immediate, obvious and the more functional

haven't really thought what this all means, just kinda skimmed it...of course the real reason i'm posting it is just coz it's long and i can say i posted a long update with minimal thinking/typing.
but at initial skimming it seems to say i am slow, judegemental, indecisive and not creative enough?...hm...

everyone's posting these mass updates, so i guess it's my turn...plus someone said if i didn't, he'd call me daily to yell at me...i guess that's not horrible, since some phone calls (even hate ones) are better than the no phone calls i'm getting now (oh yeah simon calls, but he doesn't count =P )

but yes i will be keeping this short, since 1) my life's not all that exciting and 2) my fingers are a little sore (refer to update item #4)
so here goes:

1) comments on my last post...

for those of you who were worried, don't worry simon's still alive an kicking...i did not poison him with my over boiling congee. for those who had wished otherwise...i'm sorry to disappoint...hehe
but yes i just felt the need to clarify...i'm not a horrible cook or anything...i can cook many yummy things...i just sometimes forget i'm cooking it and they turn not so yummy...but once again, the congee was good...really....


2) operation blue dress

.....has failed...that is all...


3) grossness

meant to post this one up when i happened, but i got lazy...
so usually i have a conflict with my class on fridays and i go to the other class...but the prof promised to give us tips and guidelines for our marketing report.
so i go to this class for the first time all semester thinking it'd be worth it, but the prof just hands out the assignment...which is posted on the website anyways. so i am sitting there quite feeling like i just wasted my time...and i feel something on m head. i thought at first it was one of my dumb friends throwing stuff at me (you think they'd be mature enough to have grown out of that, but no they aren't), so i turn around and look and there's no one i know behind me. i am all confused and even more annoyed with the class.
then i feel it on my head again...so i look up this time...and there dangling off the edge of the balcony right on top of me is a pair of dripping boots.
URGH that's what i get for going to class...grrr


4) pluck pluck pluck

in another one of attempts to not be the only asian i know who doesn't play any kind of musical intrument, i am trying to learn to play the guitar.
i hope this does not turn out like my weak attempt at learning to play drums which left me with still no rhythm and nothing but bruises on my legs.
but yes i have borrowed a guitar to practice on and now know enough chords to play lord i lift your name on high and hosanna...which i play all day long...if i were living with anyone but rosey i'd probably have had my head torn off ten times by now...seriously if i weren't playing them i'd be horribly annoyed as well..coz i say i know them, but that doesn't mean i play them very well...
thank goodness rosey really isn't a tear your head of kinda girl =P, plus she has a tendency to play songs on repeat for days.
but yes if i practice very very hard, i might actually have a talent...if only my fingers would stop throbbing....


5) loving one another

that was the theme of our ACF winter retreat last weekend. first of all can't believe it was my last ACF winter retreat. been to seven of these things, and honestly i have learned so much from each and everyone of them. and each year is different, as ACF grows and older ones leave and the frosh come it. it's been such an amazing journey.
but yes loving one another...seems such the christian cliche, but when you really think about God's love for his people there is so much more.
this weekend when God showed His love to His people, doubt, fear, pride and bitterness were brought to light, and in its place came conviction, forgiveness, grace and joy. and when the walls are all torn down, and you look at the people around you, each created in God's own image and loved by God, you realized there is nothing you can do but love them.
it is truly truly amazing.
right now i am at a loss for words...i will write more later.

pretending to be the good caring girlfriend that i am so obviously NOT, i decided to make some congee for the sick boy...but being the extremely forgetful person that i am, i got distracted by leno and left my little concoction there on the stove to boil over.
no worries tho, i don't think i'll poison him coz the congee escaped unharmed...but my stovetop is now completely covered with a starchy layer of ricey water that's just kinda caked on...yum! *sigh*...my poor stove top...and *double sigh*...poor me who now needs to go scrub it...

another Christmas and New Year's gone by...was much the usual family friends and food...and of course the annual holiday 5 pound weight gain...man at this rate if i love long enough i'll hit sumo size. but yes this time my friends decided that since it's our last year we should all go to the charity ball...which means that blue dress i bought that fit just right two summers (ie two christmas breaks and about a zillion pounds) ago needs to be able to zip by January 31st...sigh don't think that will ever happen...as i gobble down a bowl of chocolate fudge icecream =P
hm i wonder if a potato sack counts and formal wear.

but yes fat jokes about me aside, it's that beginning of the year time when you kinda look back at the past year and ahead at things to come...no resolutions or anything like that, but just thinking how much God's been working in me and around me. Last year was an amazing year, was hard at times but i am really really thankful for everything that's happened and everyone who's been a part of it.

well, this year starts the last semester of my university experience (or so i hope) i have no clue what to expect after all this...a little bit nervous, but also a little bit excited. but yes before i start thinking about the rest of my life, i do have to rest of the semester to deal with...and many many more nights in the lab. i assure you will all be hearing lots more about that =P

was about the whine and cry about the fact that i am stuck in the computer lab while the whole rest of the world is free and out playing...but...then i read my last post...and yes indeed...i am too blessed to be stressed.
aiya!...so easy to slip into feeling sorry for yourself and complaining about things.

on the bright side, nobody else being in the lab...means that the complab nazis aren't here to rip your head off at the smell of food, so i brought a whole bag of chips ahoy cookies and there being no one else here to have to share with...mwuahahahaha...350g of double chocolate goodness is all mine!
..........now if i could just figure out this whole FUG calculation thing...

i've been realizing that you really can decide how you feel. you can choose to be depressed and wallow and sulk and feel sorry for yourself...or you can choose not to...

i've been through some struggles big and small and downtimes and many a "bleh" times, but each time it only gets clearer that God has blessed me and there is no reason for me not to feel blessed.

i know alot of people are having exams around now and at least for myself i often get caught up in all that needs to be done and get stressed and all...so here's a little something i stole off a friend's wall as a little reminder, it's kinda cute.

I am too blessed to be stressed,
And too anointed to be disappointed.

I refuse to be discouraged; to be sad or to cry.
I refuse to be downhearted and here’s the reason why:
I have a God who is almighty! He is sovereign and supreme!
I have a God who loves me; I am on His team!

He is all wise and powerful; Jesus is His Name;
Though everything else is changeable, My God remains the same!
I refuse to be defeated... My eyes are on my GOD!
He has promised to be with me, as through this life I trod.

I am looking past my circumstances, to heaven’s throne above.
My prayers have reached the heart of God; I am resting in His love!
I give thanks to Him in everything. My eyes are on His face.
The battle is His! The victory is mine! He will help me win the race!

what is up with the "wassups"?

when i ask someone what's up or how's it going, i usually expect an answer, but i'm finding that when many people say don't actually care what is up with you.
i was walking to the UCC the other day and this guy i had class with in first year walking towards me. i smile and say hi, and he goes hey, wassup? so in my little mind i thought that meant we would stop and chat a bit, and proceeded to slow down and start talking...but he just keeps walking right past me, so there i am looking like an idiot talking to myself in the middle of the sidewalk.
i guess people just kinda use it as a greeting and don't really expect a reply...but isn't that like what "hello" is for? see if someone just said hello i would smile say hello back and then that would be that, no me looking stupid...but sigh...somehow things just never are that easy are they...

hm...i was gonna post a picture here and write about taking pictures...but it's been so long i forget how to do that...so we'll just have to do without the visual...

but yes, i would like to comment on that horrible thing that happens when you give an asian a digital camera...as soon as you do, you will never be safe again. every moment of your life could potentially be captured and used against you without your even knowing. like you could be sleeping peacefully and unsuspectingly on a bus back from retreat and a week later you find a picture of yourself posted on someone's imagestation page...drool and all!!! (grrrr...mike!!!!). and let's not even get started on all the most unflattering midspeach/blinking/eating pictures that are everywhere now. but then again...the ones that aren't of yourself can be pretty funny...

oh and i thought it was bad enough when we get together and take group shots and everyone wants a copy with their camera, so you'd be sitting there with your smile frozen on forever and then when it finally gets to your camera your face hurts so much you just end up scowling...thought that the digital cameras would at least eliminate that problem...but noooo...everyone still needs to take one with their own cameras...and since it's digital and cost practically nothing to take more pictures...they'll want two or three or four shots each...just thinking about it hurts my face...

ah yes...and everyone wants pictures with everyone all the time, and it's always the same pose...cho is the queen of this (mike follows closely after tho)...i swear i have like 10 pictures with her at 10 different occasion and you can't tell the difference coz it's the same pose: two people heads slightly tilted towards each other, always the same smile...although occasionally she'll throw in the fobby peace sign to mix things up a bit. =P

but as much as this whole thing is rather ridiculous, somehow when a digital camera is placed into my hands, i do the exact same thing. not quite to the cho/mike extent, but i took more pictures in one night than i did the past two years combined. something about it just screams at you to take pictures of anything and everything...think it's also related to the chinese mentality that since it's free you have to take as many as you can...hm...

ok, so whiile i'm on the topic of pictures, might as well throw this one in...grad pictures...
yes i just got my proofs back today...(and NO you may not see them)
but yes, asides from not liking to pose for pictures, and getting two hours of sleep the night before and having 5 of the most boring hours of class prior to the shoot...and them being the worst pictures ever...the guy MADE ME WEAR A HAT!...well the grad cap...but yes, if you know me or have seen me, you will know.....my head does not do hats!!!!
and yes he made me. i couldn't stop him even though i was paying him to take the pictures. argh!
but then again...hehe...upon picking up my proofs today, i noticed that there were 14 proofs/poses...whereas i (being the cheapo i am) only ordered and paid for 10...so excluding the 3 horrible hat ones i still got one bonus...HA! i win afterall!!!...speaking of which i have been recently informed that apparently when a guy and a girl argue, somehow it's like law that the girl always gets to win...wish i had learned that sooner....but yes, that will be a topic for another day...

a 3 hour tutorial at 8am on friday, group meetings, assignment due, the computer lab, pouring rain and no umbrella really doesn't add up to the best day....and i would advise against trying to make mashed potatoes and realizing after you boil the potatoes that you lent your masher to someone else and have to mash 10 potatoes with a fork at 2 am the night before.

took everything in me this morning to get out of bed this morning, but i did, and i am glad.
days like this you just need an extra bit of grace to get through...thank God He has plenty to give.

"But one this I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining towards what is ahead, I press on towards the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."
- phil 3:14-

Ever notice that when you're kinda down and you let yourself wallow in it, and all of a sudden you spiral downwards and then you start thinking that you're world's falling apart and you have no friends? Yes? No?...well sometimes that happens to me, but good thing for me i snap out of it before i let myself get too far and God always shows me how horribly wrong i am.
I HAVE THE BESTEST FRIENDS EVER!!! and just when you feel like talking to one of them, she decides to take a surprise trip from kingston to visit and you run into her in the hall and it just totally makes your day. and you talk and realize that even though you haven't talked in ages, nothing's changed! it's most awesome...i love ya...hehe you know who you are =)

In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light my strength my song
This corner stone this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest draught and storm
What height of love what depths of peace
When fears are stilled and strivings cease
My comforter my all in all
Here in the love of Christ I stand....

No guilt no fear in death
This is the power of Christ in me
From life's first cry to dying breathe
Jesus commands my destiny
No power of hell no scheme of man
Could ever pluck me from his hand
Till he returns or calls me home
Here in the power of Christ I'll stand!

"O God, make me one of those rarest of souls who willingly wait for Thy time; My impatient will must be lost in Thine own, And Thy will forever be mine"

I never really knew how hard it would be to pray this prayer...to truly wait on God and trust in His timing. Can't say I know now, but I need to learn...

Pray for me...

wah me AGAIN! i really don't like doing biz...

thinking about something exciting to say...but nope can't think of anything...
life's been just kinda normal...nothing worth really writing about...haven't really done anything exciting or stupid lately (i know it's hard to believe).
it's been mad midterm and deadline week and as much as i hate being in the engineering building, i have spent more out of class hours in there this past week than i have in the past 3 years combined. that building is a sad sad sad place. stay away from it!!!

hehe of course you guys know me well enough to know that when i say "I'm back" it doesn't really mean i'm back back...it's more a "i'm lazy and i'll drop by every now and then"... =P

but i am here today, procrastinating from studying biz...yes i have a biz class...it's the equivalent of first year biz for engineers. sigh can't seem to bring myself to do it...it just doesn't seem applicable to anything else i'm doing...and you have to like read and write and think...and stuff...but then again...i guess the alternative would be starting my FUG calculations for my detailed VCM plant design...hm...maybe income statements aren't that bad...but four hour exams are...
but yeah...hehe...was complaining about biz cases to rosey and how long horrible and retarded they are...till i realized that her being in business means that's like all she does...oops!

I'M BACK!!!...new guestbook and all...and of course i just couldn't resist being the first one to sign my own guestbook. now it's your turn...hehe i know i'm such a loser, but i know you guys still love me...right?...right?...somebody? anybody?

been asked to blog...so...the coolest thing this week...well it's not really "cool"...but i was definitely excited about it...

there was a sale at chapters-indigo.ca, so...i finally ordered and recieved my very own copy of the chemical engineering "bible"...you'll think i'm a geek...but but but but think...all 20 gabazillion pages of the perry's chemical engineers' handbook sitting right here on my desk...ooo the excitement.....ok fine...i am a geek...

ah so guess there haven't been as many fun adventures here at western as promised...

but i will blog today...because today is a sad day.

got an email today. apparently my guestbook will no longer be free...and since i am a poor, cheap uiversity student...i will not pay.
i know my that both my blog and guestbook have long past their glory days...i know, i know, even those weren't all that glorious...
but ah...the few people that cared if i fell into a ditch...all the effort...well more whining and nagging that i put into it to get it to reach 10 pages...feels like a little bit of me is dying...sense a void in my life already...or maybe i'm just hungry.

but yeah last chance...sign the book while you can.

Well for all those who came here because they still had a small bit of faith in my blogging again, I thank you...and for those who come back periodically to use my baby pictures against me, you will be disappointed as the bums who posted them seem to have taken them off their page.

But yes with each school semester comes the insane workload and therefore...much procrastination...I mean well deserved "study breaks" =P
so I am back for now and will continue to ramble until my 491 and 415 projects kill me.
But before I get into all that let me wrap up the summer with some highlights

- my favorite Shum family visiting from HK
- power walking the whole length of the yonge subway line (union to finch)...was during the blackout...no i do not do that for fun
- cutting generous chunks of flesh out of every one of my fingers at work...don't do that for fun either
- growing even older...argh 22
- being able to pay my own tuition (ouch it hurt...stupid 14% tuition increase...FOR A BUILDING I WON'T GET TO USE)
- buying my own laptop...and no you cannot borrow it for your next LAN party!
- proving to pino that i am indeed a worse pool player than he is...and that i can outeat him at swiss chalet
- learning that you can buy anything with food...friends, most appreciated player awards...souls...

So it's been an interesting summer, but as much as I complain about school, I am glad to be back...a sentiment that will probably change not too long from now, when bags under the eye becomes bags that reach chin and all hair gets torn out when mass balances don't work out. But until then stay tuned for Supa's adventures at Western.

things your learn from softball....
got kicked smack in the stomach today...never knew that fat bruises...

So apparently my not blogging is to be blamed for my friends not calling me...even when they come all the way back from Germany (ahem wongs =P). So i guess i will have to update as an attempt to keep my friends.

And as you have all guessed I was in a ditch...a big PVC resin filled ditch...ie i'm working in R&D at a polymer piping factory. which consists of waking up at 5:30 for work, having no life, playing with plastics, and occasionally burning or cutting off portions of my fingers. On the weekends i get big bruises from balls flying at me, ie CCSA softball, and stuff my face silly.

I will stop here for today as I took out a chunk of my finger with a router blade.
injured finger count for the day: 3. Check back next week to see how many fingers I have left.

ok...so i've finally done it...i signed the form, and paid the registration fee...
CCSA softball this summer...with my lack of coordination and athletic ability, this will be interesting...

Personal goals for the season:
- DON'T DIE!!!!

hm inspired by a shopping trip weeks ago with Big Al looking for the sheet music for eternal flame, and the nice warm weather today, I found myself diggin up my "happy" CD's, and singing to the Bangles Greatest Hits...I am such a geek......but then again, the 80's stiletto heel has made a comeback, so maybe I'm not so off...

"Spinster" - by Sylvia Plath

Now this particular girl
During a ceremonious april walk
With her latest suitor
Found herself, of a sudden, intolerably struck
By the birds' irregular babel
And the leaves' litter.

By this tumult afflicted, she
Observed her lover's gestures unbalance the air,
His gait stray uneven
Through a rank wilderness of fern and flower;
She judged petals in disarray,
The whole season, sloven.

How she longed for winter then! --
Scrupulously austere in its order
Of white and black
Ice and rock; each sentiment within border,
And heart's frosty discipline
Exact as a snowflake.

But here -- a burgeoning
Unruly enough to pitch her five queenly wits
Into vulgar motley --
A treason not to be borne; let idiots
Reel giddy in bedlam spring:
She withdrew neatly.

And round her house she set
Such a barricade of barb and check
Against mutinous weather
As no mere insurgent man could hope to break
With curse, fist, threat
Or love, either.

do you sense the bitterness in the poem?

spin·ster
Pronunciation: 'spin(t)-st&r
Function: noun
Date: 14th century
1 : a woman whose occupation is to spin
2 a archaic : an unmarried woman of gentle family b : an unmarried woman and especially one past the common age for marrying
3 : a woman who seems unlikely to marry

went to the lawyer's the other day to sign something...it read...CONNIE YUEN SPINSTER.....SPINSTER SPINSTER.....what the heck!?!??!?!??!?!?!?!??!!!!!!!!!!!!!...SPINSTER
.....i am bitter, very very bitter....

coming back to toronto, that whole SARS things is actually kinda scary...getting kinda paranoid.
got into the elevator yesterday and some chinese guys was standing real close and almost breathing on me, and if i had a surgical mask on me i probably would have put it on.

my mom's trying to ration the chinese food stock we have at home since she refuses to go anywhere chinese. she ran out of rice last week and was forced to go buy rice at lowblaws, she was not pleased with the quality...funny how in london i have more authentic chinese food than she does here.

oh and that whole stay away from large groups of chinese people deal...since that's exactly what chinese churches are, my mom was a little concerned about our going this week.
they made an announcement about it today in service, during which someone started coughing. being paranoid as i am, i immediately looked around to locate the source...and hahahahaha....it came from like the only white guy in our church. just ever so slightly ironic

went to the mall today...yes the mall...again.....didn't find a dress for the banquet, this season everything still has ruffles on it (yeck)and i think it's about time i hit the treadmills and ab workouts again....but besides all that, i couldn't help but notice the number of couples shopping together...in female clothing stores.
i think that guys should be sensitive and caring and all that at times. but however in love you are, following a girl's every step like a dog through Jacob and La Senza just seems a little...uh...whipped? i have absolutely no respect for that.

weather report for today:
mainly cloudy, with light winds...and expected popcorn showers in the chem eng lab

today's advice:
do not try to pneumatically transport popcorn

ah...the sun is shining outside and the weather is nice...i feel the sudden strong urge to go to the mall and drool over that perfect spring wardrobe that i will never ever be able to afford

....i finally reallize why sane people don't stay awake for 64 consecutive hours...i think my body is slowly eating away at itself.

stupid 317...never ever ever again...

Situation: HUGE research/design project due monday...
Problem: Me not done...

a girl in my class got a two week extension by claiming "extreme emotional distress" after a messy break-up situation last week
.
well my computer just decided to freeze on me turning my past 2 hours of work into nothingness...wonder if "extreme psychotic rage" would be a valid reason for an extension...

grrrrrr...stupid noncolorfast dyes...had two new dish towels, one red and one green that i washed with the old ones...
the red one dyed everything else pink (not particularly fond of the color) and the green gave off a more yellowish tone that looks like someone used the towels to mop up pee (eloquently put, i know)...
i guess the only solution is some big time bleaching...or i guess i could take gabe's lead and go monochromatic...
......hm....nah!

well if you've been reading my guestbook and wondering about this whole sweeny todd/lovett thing, i have two things to say to you
1) darn you for not signing it
2) ........MEATPIES!

I know this blog leads you to think otherwise, but we do other things here besides stuffing ourselves silly...really we do...

let me think.....
hm....

......no wait....i lied......

Don’t laugh, but I am going to attempt the sleep early these next couple weeks…the new ACF exec’s been having 7am prayer meetings everyday and 3 ½ hours of sleep really is not enough to survive on.
I know daily 7am prayer meetings…it’s some kinda insanity (in a really good way =P).

It’s unbelievable how much I see these people…it’s more than I see…well…anyone. We meet to pray mornings, and we meet to have planning meetings on Sundays, where we plan for more things that we’ll have to meet to plan. YEAH!

So speaking of planning, our first task is to put together the year-end banquet…we found a nice little restaurant called Bill Bentley’s, and they have a nice little banquet hall that we get to use for our semi-formal at an affordable price…and guess what…it’s a BUFFET!!!!! To name a few of the things on the menu: unlimited roast beef, roast chicken, beef lasagna, potatoes, and apple pie…learning from last year’s mistakes, I say no tight little black dress this year…

You think after all the eating I’ve been doing I’d learn to stay away from all-you-can-eat places…but but but……it’s all you can eat!!!

So yeah there’s this place here in London (and yes we do have places to eat in London) called Archie’s and apparently on Mondays, they have all you can eat fish and chips…imagine…unlimited amounts of crispy, batter fried fish with tasty tarter sauce and all the fries you can possible stuff into your mouth…mmm!

Whenever anyone comes to visit me, there is always one question that they ask… “What’s that noise?” they could be referring to one or more of the following:
1) the constant humming that resonates from my ceiling (I live next to the elevator on the top floor of my building so I’d like to think that it’s the motor rather than the danger that my ceiling is gonna explode and collapse on me in my sleep)
2) the constant beeping that is my out of battery smoke detector (you think if it’s out of batteries it’d eventually beep itself out, but it’s been going on for months now),
3) the sound of the train coming by from the tracks across the parking lot.

I was talking on the phone yesterday, and during our conversation, I turned down my music, and he’s like…whoa, what’s that noise, do you live near heavy machinery or something?
Brian says it's like I'm living on the Enterprise...constant humming and beeping...and sometimes when i forget that i'm baking and things burn, the alarm goes off too

You’d think with all that noise around me I’d go crazy (I know I know i'm crazy as is), but my response to the question is usually…Huh? Noise? What noise? I never really thought it was that bad, I don’t even notice it most days, but apparently it is and I’m just going deaf.

exam on tuesday, but i think grease has blocked off blood flow to my brain...

I had thought the world had given up on me and my blog.
So…what’s new with Connie? Well reading week is over, so I’m back at school to be stressed, depressed and without a life…so not that much.
However, during those few days that I spent away from this gloomy place, I did do something I’ve been wanting to for years…

…unlimited kimchi, pickled turnips…and MEAT!!! For the first time in my life I finally experienced what they call Korean Barbeque…and it’s so gross it’s amazing…grilled beef by the bowlful. I think I ate enough to feed me, and some small country for the next month. After which of course we proceeded to go for dessert.

Other eating exploits in Toronto include pigging out at Congee Wong, Milestones and eating a pot of my mom’s “gnou lam”.
And to keep to the spirit of gluttony after returning to London, we went for a pizza buffet today after church…Just when I think I’ve passed my limit and finally eaten too much, I go out and eat some more.

So there's supafat...and there are ditches, some are bigger, and some are deeper.

well actually i wasn't really in a ditch, but i just decided i'd be a brat and would refuse to blog until someone signed my guestbook without my having to whine about it. but no worries as we've already established, nothing too exciting ever happens in the life of the Supa...so you're not missing too much.

oh the pain...somehow let victor convince me to try snowboarding...been two days and i am still in very very much pain.
i'm sure the time spent on my butt, and face far surpassed that which was spent on my feet. and to make it even more humiliating, there were those little kids snowboarding circles around me.

i think i should now dub myself superfatSNOWball.

ha,,,how did i ever think that would run out of things to whine about...school's starting, tomorrow and with three 8am classes a week, as far as whining goes, the sky's the limit.

ah it's a little late, but happy new year anyways....

ha it's been a year since i started this blog, and the superfatconball is still here...well kinda. brian was just here and wanting to "guest blog" to let those of you who care that i have not fallen into any ditches. so why the prolonged silence you might wonder...well, i am stuck in the middle of a war zone. my mom went back to HK and packed the last 12 years of our life into 108 boxes, most of which are sitting in our little north york condo. if my mom weren't so busy unpacking them, i'd build a fort and invite you guys all over to play....yet instead i lay on the couch all day with the remote and let me brain turn to goo (and matt, i would twiddle my thumbs, but that's just too much work).

well i would like to take a moment to thank everyone who has helped me keep going, esp my (very few) dedicated readers who have stayed with me despite the numerous ditches along the way, my dear family (minus the sisters who schemed against me and posted my baby pictures), everyone who has a link to my blog so that random people think i'm the biggest freak alive before i even meet them (mwuahahahaha!!!)...and of course, last but definitely not least, every single person who has contributed to my guestbook's reaching of its ten pages...i love you...THANK YOU!

WAIT!!!!!!!!!!.............. oh poo...now that i've reached 10 pages i will have to find something new to whine about...grrrrrr...

AHA....finally....10 PAGES!!!!!!1

Finals....time to test the limit of how long you can go without doing laundry...

It's been a while since I actually woke up and gave thought to what I was going to wear to school, but yesterday I actually found myself staring at the right corner of my room (which has developed into a waist high pile of clothes) trying to decide what to wear. ...the blue jeans I wore the day before (wear count: 2) or the grey ones from a few days ago (wear count ...let's just leave it at being more than one)...was a toss up with wearing what was cleaner, and having people notice that I am wearing the same thing coz I haven't done laundry and have run out of things to wear...as if thermodynamics isn't enough to think about...

*swoon*...*drool*..


Who is your Ideal Lord of the Rings (male) Mate?
brought to you by Quizilla

"I have not failed...I have just found 10,000 ways that don't work."

ACK.......6 exams in 7 days...I think I will be the one to not be able to take the pressure and go insane...

"I am an integral, I am an integral"

hmmm was reading Yuling's blog...math and insanity...He'd better be careful, supposedly my first year, there was this one guy who couldn't take the pressure during our the first year Engineering Calc finals. He snapped and went completely psycho...stood up in the middle of it and started chanting that he was an integral...It's supposed to be a true story...so beware!

I think I’m a binge-blogger…I don’t blog for a while (or along time) and then I come back and do a couple entries a day for a few days and then disappear again (into some ditch). Not that I’m saying that now I’m posting this there will be many to follow. But someday soon (not saying when) I will have a little surprise for you all…hehe just a little motivation for you guys to keep checking my site…you won’t know when it’ll come, but one day you’ll click…and voila it’ll be there…hehe

BLEH…intramural volleyball…they fired their coordinator and cheated us two make-up games…grrr. But the good thing is, hehe we won today! YEAH!

So I guess I don’t suck as much as I thought I did…wait who am I kidding...I suck. But I do try though. Our first game I dove for the ball and ended up with a bruise on my knee bigger than my knee.

Got a big bruise today too, and as much as I’d like to say that it’s from my efforts for the team, I find that I cannot lie to you…it wasn’t.
Christina decided to go to MacDonald’s after the game, and since we both needed cash, we pulled up at the CIBC drive-in, and since Christina has issues and can’t pull up the other way around, I got out and walked around the car to save her the trouble.
I put my card in the slot, pushed the little buttons (and deposited two cheques while I was at it), took my receipt, card and cash…whipped around, excited that we were now heading off for food…and rammed right into the side mirror. The whole car shook, I’m sure Chris, Austin, JLo and Aaron’s lives flashed before their eyes, and of course I let out an attempt at a scream (got sick, lost my voice last weekend and according to Justin sound like a cow). So yeah, my “volleyball related” injuries. =P I am so cool it hurts.

See there’s this frosh Josh…and Josh is strange. He wants to start a save the squirrels club, spends way too much time in the library, and somehow convinced me to sign away my soul (long story), but the main thing is that for some unbeknownst reason, he wants to be a FOB. And he takes it very seriously, he sees it his mission to convert all of ACF in a Pinky and the Brain take over the world kinda way, ‘cept there’s only one of him, so he’s in search of a sidekick. It was all good until some big mouth told him that I was from HK…grrrrrrr. I came off that boat a long time ago, and am still trying to forget that I was ever on it. But this guy is persistent...

I had a kinetics lab on Friday before ACF (I’ll complain about that some other day), and had managed to spill chemicals all over my pants and was on my way home to change. Went to the library to say hi to the bums who hang out there coz I just missed my bus…and somehow let Josh convince me to go home and come back a FOB.

So I showed up at UCC with my green plastic framed glasses, pink sweater, and to complete the package, I even whipped out my MD player…What was I thinking?!?!?! Can I say SuperfatFOBball? Someone please stop me before it’s too late……….

Being in the ditch where I was, I failed to notice that my guestbook hit nine pages 4 messages ago...

Ah the joys of complete and utter unproductiveness…

I don’t think I have done so little work since school started…it’s so wrong, it’s smack in the middle of midterms…yet it feels sooooo good (that is of course until I see that stack of work that should have been done).

My goal tonight is to sleep before 12:30 (another first this year since school started) so I will tell you about my adventures another day. Just wanted to let you know I am indeed alive, not in a ditch and still have no life.

"Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything learned in school."

Believe it or not back in highschool some people thought I was cool. They thought I had a sense of style and dressed well.
I could wear anything and somehow convince people that it was cool. This one time we had an 80's dance and I was making my friend a pair of leg warmers out of and old electric blue sweater. I was trying them on for size (on top of my jeans with my highheels still on...ie I looked really really dumb) and some girl actually walks in gasps and sincerely comments on how cool she thought they are...and now look at me... Can't even remember the last time I combed my hair, put on make-up or actually cared about what I wore....only steps away from being classified a slob (if I have not been already)....well an anal slob that color codes her wardrobe...but a slob none the less.

Ah but there is silver lining around every cloud. Because you see it's all relative. When you look like a bum most the time, the few occasions you actually have to look nice, a small effort yields drastic results. While other girls brush, blowdry, primp, cake their faces with makeup and do whatever else they do to prepare for an event, all I have to do is comb my hair and compared to the way I usually look, people will actually think I look nice.

Slowly but surely...the guestbook has reached 8 pages!

You were expecting me to be typing in non-caps, weren’t you? Well, that would be just too predictable wouldn’t it now?
Muwahahaha the ever changing, ever mysterious ways of the Supa…

Haven’t blogged in a couple days...hmm...so what's been going on in my life here...

I asked Fitz that question the other day, and he tells me about his plans to go to England on exchange next year and how’s he going to Florida for the weekend with his girlfriend…and then he he throws it back at me. “Connie haven’t talked to you in ages, I feel like I’m missing a lot…”

Well, let’s see the most exciting things I’ve done in the last while…I mounted shelves on my walls, got myself a new desk, rearranged my living room and color coded my wardrobe… I AM SUCH A LOSER!!!

And it doesn’t help that every time I talk to him I’m either studying, doing a lab report or paper or something of that sort. From the impression that he gets from me, he things I go to some kinda nerd school.
HA! Western a nerd school!?!??!? Rrrrrrrright…. Was just in the cafeteria today listening to someone tell me about a 700 person party his frat had and how they had kegs of beer hanging off the roof or something.

…Hmm should blue and white striped shirt…should that go in the blue section or the white section…

IF I GOT FAT...WOULD YOU STILL LOVE ME???

...the more important thing is what would you call me if i got fatter? what would the next step up be from SUPERfat?

there is something about me that just screams out FOOOD! two years ago gabe got me an ice cream scoop for christmas (he said he saw it and thought it was me)...and this year for my bday matt mark and lyds got me one...and then just this week...hehe...amy gets me the ultimate gift...an ice cream maker. it's like the coolest thing ever....MAYBE it'll redeem her for that thing she pulled with my kid pics.

i was looking at ice cream recipes...they require WHOLE milk and HEAVY cream, not to count sugar, and other things you put in it....which spell only one thing really...F.A.T.

i'll really be living up to this nickname of mine...that is if i don't surpass it and become some other more extreme form of fatness.

yeah yeah yeah...everyone's saying what a cute kid i was...don't know what happened...so don't ask!!

all rage and thoughts of killing my sisters aside (we did cain and abel today in sunday school...sibling killers don't end well)...i am at a lost for words. i think if the kid wasn't me i might have said "aw how cute"...cept it is me and the only thought that comes to me is...man! i had a big head...

Hehe.. here are some pictures that our aunt sent to us of Superfat when she was still young and cute. =p enjoy them while you can ( don't know if she will take them down) - Yuen sisters =)


Our aunt was teaching Connie to be a ballerina... hmm... Yes attempts to be graceful


Hmm what's the smell? Supa??!?!?









Cute isn't she?


What's in Supa mouth?? check to see what is behind us. Yes Supa eats EVERYTHING!!!






Pictures from Edmonton, when diversity meant Supa and Amy were around...

ah so austin got us in, we're playing sunday 4-5...will be interesting.

volleyball...*sigh* brings back memories...good...bad...and ones that the world will never let me forget...
that's where it all started with volleyball, the whole "superfat" deal....

i know many have long awaited the story behind the name....the secret will soon be reavealed...well maybe...

ha! my guestbook is now not 5...but 6 pages

thank you simon. if your page had a guestbook i'd be there!

(notice still blogging without caps)

today i decided to blog without capitalizing at the beginning of sentences...oooo that rebel in me!

i also decided to try writing with my left hand. matthew (tomkins...a kid from class) tried to stop me coz he said that back in the days of the roman empire they trained all the lefthanded soldiers to hold their swords in the right hands, and that caused them to be more prone to mental instability.
so now everytime i or anyone else around him grabs pen with their left hand he freaks. i think he may be developing a complex of some sort...and somehow my mental stability is in question?

well taking a break from the depressing topic of school, i will touch on another depressing topic...my guestbook.

last night i got really sick of PID-controllers and finally decided to start reading other people's blogs again (haven't read a blog in months) and i realized that other people actually had guestbooks that people sign...all the time...and then there's mine a measily 5 pages.
so i express my jealousy to matt mark, who has a 10 page guestbook...or so i thought. he inturn rubs it in, his guestbook is only 10 pages because that's the max they let you have...infact it's more like 20...thanks...makes me feel much better

but still, i thank those who have taken the time to sign my book...it's about quality not quantity right?

....oh but i want quantity too....!!!!!!!!!!

and now for more ranting about my program...sometimes i wonder why i'm still in it...

one report down, and a massive one to go….

see, in third year we have this Process Design and Safety course...it's supposed to be prep for the big design project that we have to do next year, this course has been around for about forever now and they've been doing the same thing year to year, but somehow nothing makes sense and no one seems to know what's going on.

first of all, they ask us to get into groups of four and choose a topic to write on, so of course you assume you work with these people and do research together and then write your separate reports...but no...we're NOT supposed to work together or even communicate with each other. confused i ask the prof what exactly the groups are for, and he tells me that it's to get used to the engineering environment where you always work on projects in a team...makes sense, except when you consider we're in team...yet not working with our team...

so fine, i do my work on my own, with really no clue what to be doing coz that's all they've told us so far, no due dates, expectations, nothing. then on tuesday he brings brings a memo to class...the deadline for the preliminary report's nov 14th...ok i can handle that...then i flip through the memo...and it's a 6000 word (min) preliminary report (just words, not including data, graphs calculations equations)...deep breath...ok...hands start shaking…
then he says he want to show us a sample final report which is what our preliminary one should aim to resemble. he plops down a 2" binder...FULL...it's HUGE!!!!! and in this little plastic envelop in the back cover there’s an extensive hand-drawn process diagram that we’re required to have for ours…going into shock at this point...

so, to sum up we're in a team that we're not supposed to communicate with, they expect a MASSIVE report in a month and a half (right through all my mid-terms might i add)...and he had the nerve to say he was disappointed when in previous years student didn't not do all that well on it. ARGH!!!!!!

i dunno, but i'm starting to suspect the qualifications of the people responsible for my education...

Correction to yesterday's blog...after a group effort, the lab report turned out to be 20 pages, not 12. Must also emphaize that it was finished on time...only to find out today in class that the due date is to be pushed back til the last day of classes this term (ie not today). Bag growing under eyes...and al for nothing!

Labs SUCK! Especially the four hour long ones that you have to write a 12 page lab report on...and it being due tomorrow and my not being done doesn't help at all...

And as if that isn't bad enough they have to make the chemical engineering labs like prisons..actually worse than prisons. In prisons at least they have real windows where you can look out and pretend that you're in a happier place..but no, not in my labs.
You look out the window hoping for a glance at the sky, trees, grass and a little bit of freedom...but some genius for some inhumane reason decided to build a big fat brick wall right outside the window!!!!!! Oh the cruelty!!!!!!

Western Reserve Academy, Varsity Volleyball 1999-2000
(yes, believe it or not, that is me in it)

Volleyball…Ha! Austin asked me to play on their intramural volleyball team. I like the game and all, but have only actually really played once...and that was way back in high school…and even then I didn’t get to play all that much.
But then again, I still did make the varsity team back then. I know if you ever watch me play you probably won’t believe it…so here’s my certificate as proof. It was awarded to me for “Outstanding Participation”…whatever that really means.

Matt Mark says 12 ounces doesn't classify as beast...supposedly 24's just approaching “beasthood”. Gabe says 12's beast enough for a girl...should there be a double standard? Do I eat like beast? Beast or not beast...AHHH…Identity crisis!!!!!!

My faculty gives us 100 (complimentary) business cards and a nametag for the "big day"...Connie Yuen, Western, Faculty of Engineering, BeSc 2004, Chemical and Biochemical Engineering…maybe I haven’t been wasting the past two years of my life…

The annual Western (Engineering/Richard-Ivey/Computer Science Upper Year) Job Fair.
It’s the one day you can’t tell the engineers from the business students…hair has actually been combed, and shirt and ties are in the place of the usual crumpled T-shirts. They’re all lined up at the door of the Thompson Area, there is tension in the air...the person who you sit with in every class has now become competition.

The company reps are ready, with their smiles, brochures and boxes of propaganda. Ready, to lure the students in and have them compete against each other to trade their souls for promises of starting salaries, employee benefits and dental.

The doors open…they’re all there, the so-called “big employers”. My colleagues are enchanted and slowly drift towards them like a fly to a light bulb…I will not be so easily gotten…Oh wait…what’s that I see? Oh my goodness…free pens…!!!!!!!!!

Someone once told me I ate like beast. I never really agreed with him, but I think I might be starting to today.
I think I ate a whole 12 ounce steak all by myself for dinner...I say "I think" because I can't remember...it all happened too quickly.

assembled today:

1 robin 3 drawer dresser (white) from Ikea
1 robin computer desk (white) also from Ikea
1 folding dinning table (beache) of course from Ikea as well

...hope you've caught on....I WENT TO IKEA TODAY!!!!!!

Biz Markie should just NOT sing...and neither my two favorite Brians (Duff and Leukart). As much as I love those two, I am ready to strangle them for singing the chorus of "Just a Friend" about 400 thousand times in my presence when I visited. I've had that horrible song stuck in my head my whole stay in Cleveland, entire 7 1/2 hour bus ride home (not including the 2 hours stuck at the boarder)...and guess what, it's STILL stuck in my head!!! and for some sick insane reason I decided to go download that horribleness....YOU...GOT WHAT I NEED...YOU SAY HE'S JUST A FRIEND, OH YOU SAY HE'S JUST A FRIEND... AGHADDD!!!!!!!!AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know I've been away for 4 days and you all miss me right? And in case you were wondering, there have been no holes in the ground (ie ditches) involved with this time's disappearance. In fact I was out of the counrty...oh, and let me express (once again) my "love" for the US/Canadian boarder customs. Spent a good two hours between the two, where officer Febo (...yes that was his name...Febo) took his merry little time checking the 50-some passorts on the bus, ran off and took a break, and then proceeded to try to pick up some girl named Vickie.

But where this week's adventure really started was wednesday, when I had my first encounter with installing a light fixture (or 2)...

All started with a trip to Canadian tire, where I was joined by (the employed, yet somehow doesn't seem to have to go to work) Matt Mark from across the street, in the purchasing of hair dryers, a toaster, laundry basket, kitchenware, bathroom cleaners, of course light fixtures, and other things....which were of course transported to the condo via public transport stuffed into four large bags and a laundry basket.

We arrive at destination after carrying the above mentioned all the way from the bus stop, only to find that I did not have a chair, or a sturdy elevated surface to stand on in the place (we didn't really trust the amon-tabletop/curry-leg sets assembled two nights ago). So I tore the bedsheet off my mom's bed, covered the (new, green, microfibre)loveseat for us to stand on...and as I am much shorter I ended up trying to balance myself on the armrest while holding up the light grabbing only the popcorn ceiling for support...thus covering myself in little white bits.

We had a slight bit of trouble...first of all the wires weren't really standard colored...there was a white one, a red on...and then some yucky brown one. Two of the three were about an inch and a half in diameter...the wires on the light were black and white...so we just randomly guessed and attached them to the big fat wires...but since they were so fat, the wires refused to stay attached. Had to expose about 3 inches on the light's wries to finally get them to stay. Then we turn the fuse back on...and *TADA!*...the light's on...which is strange..because all the switches in the room were off...freaky...so we take it down and rewire...and rewire (and fear that we'll blow the place up)...and of course, the whole time, I'm falling off the couch and little white bits of the popcorn ceiling are falling in our eyes/ears/mouths/noses.

It FINALLY ended up working properly and we jumped for joy...then proceed to installing the next one.

A couple things that I have learned from this experience, and hope you may learn from incase you need to install a light fixture:

1) Unless you're 7ft tall, make sure you have a ladder or chairs or some other sturdy surface to stand on

2) Green microfibre loveseats, with big fluffy cushions and round armrests are meant for sitting on, not standing

3) According to the taste of the little white bits of popcorn ceiling...I recommend that you do not try to lick your ceiling.

OOOOOO the PAIN!!!

we (me, Matt Mark, Yu Ling and Jamie) had a furniture assembling "party" last night. Turns out Yu Ling is a puzzle freak (he used to throw puzzle parties) and has a passion for assembling furniture as well. So we worked on two Amon-table-top/Curry-leg sets and two 3-drawered dressers, while Matt Mark played every possible version of Celine Dion's "A New Day Has Come" and read my mind (supposedly Matt and I have some kind of pseudo psychic connection, but that's another story for another day) till 2 am, and then went to Tim Horton's (where Matt said he was feeling really gross, but then proceeded to order a Canadian Maple, a sandwich and a drink).

Well, this morning I woke up with a finger swollen from a blister (i wouldn't suggest doing the Amon-table-top/Curry-leg assembly without a drill). but a Matesbed/shelf headboard later (this time I had to assemble it all myself...thankfully WITHOUT the Celine Dion), I have a blister on every finger on my right hand, a cut on my left thumb...and i even banged my third finger on one of the bed's drawers. And none of this furniture is my own...Amy, Tammy and my mom owe me big time!

Just think, beer and health. Supposedly beer is good for you now?

“'Well , we’re not saying that beer is the new wonder drug or suggesting that people take two beers and call us in the morning.'...(but it) may help increase bone density, thus decreasing risk of fractures. And it also could raise by 10% to 20% the so-called “good cholesterol” levels in some people, thereby helping to ward off coronary-heart disease and related afflictions such as dementia. Beer...is also rich in B-vitamins and folates (a form of water-soluble B-vitamin found in green leafy vegetables), both of which help keep homocysteine blood levels in check. Homocysteine is a chemical that, in elevated amounts, has been linked to an increased risk of heart disease.”

What a breakthrough...Guess we’ll have to stop associating the yellow bubbly fluid with big bellies and middle-aged men...life will never be the same again...

"breathe in...breathe out"
Need to calm down....no can't calm down...I'm going to Ikea today!!!!!!!! Whoohooooo!!!!!!

THANKS TO MATT MARK AND LYDIA (and a certain piece of yellow rope)............I AM OUT OF THE DITCH !!!!!!!!!!!

Yesterday I was still 20, last night I was still 20…then today came.

It seemed like any other old morning; errands to run a new condo to clean and new sheets to wash. All was as usual (not that I get a new condo everyday, but you get the point)…that is until…the ambush.

I was promised dinner for four. I got home Jamie, Ernest and Brian were already there, sitting there waiting for me. I should have felt it coming, but for some reason I didn’t…I blame it on the Tylenol 2 I had taken earlier.

Ernest offers me shotgun in Brian’s car…another clue that should have told me something was up, but I didn’t see it.

We get there, Brian says he has to go park. The three of us go in.

The Texas Armadillo…or was it the Armadillo in Texas…whatever the place was called used those blinking pagers thingies for seating. You know they blink when you’re table’s ready. Jamie asks me what those things are, I explain it to her…she still claims it was a genuine question, but I know better, it was a diversion.

They're taking us to our table, and I'm telling Jamie everything there is to know about this little blinking gadget…and all of a sudden I hear someone say "surprise!". Disoriented, I turn around…I see a table, faces, Asian ones…about 20 bzillion camera flashes later I realize, hey I know these people...they’re talking to me. Too late…I’d been had…they surprised me. And in the midst of the confusion, someone shouts "happy birthday!!!"

Age, it just sneaks up on you, when you’re not looking. You all of a sudden turn around and *surprise* you’re 21.

And now, the end is near;
And so I face the final curtain.
My friend, I'll say it clear,
I'll state my case, of which I'm certain.

I've lived a life that's full.
I've traveled each and ev'ry highway;
But more, much more than this,
I did it my way.

Regrets, I've had a few;
But then again, too few to mention.
I did what I had to do
And saw it through without exemption.

I planned each charted course;
Each careful step along the byway,
But more, much more than this,
I did it my way.

Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew
When I bit off more than I could chew.
But through it all, when there was doubt,
I ate it up and spit it out.
I faced it all and I stood tall;
And did it my way.

I've loved, I've laughed and cried.
I've had my fill; my share of losing.
And now, as tears subside,
I find it all so amusing.

To think I did all that;
And may I say - not in a shy way,
"No, oh no not me,
I did it my way".

For what is a man, what has he got?
If not himself, then he has naught.
To say the things he truly feels;
And not the words of one who kneels.
The record shows I took the blows -
And did it my way!

My Way ~ frank sinatra (my dad's favorite song)

Daddy loved my blog. Checked it everyday and read every word. He told all his friends about it and forced his colleagues to read it too. He laughed so hard he’d be in tears. He said I had talent. He was my biggest fan. He was so proud of it…he was so proud of me...but now he's gone...
I thought of stopping...actually, I did stop. But after a long debate with myself (and much convincing from others), I’ve decided to keep blogging. It used to bring a smile to his face…and perhaps it still will.

If any of you have wondered where I have disappeared to, would just like to assure you all that there have been no run-ins with ditches. The reason for my silence is that I have melted into a puddle in the middle of my floor. Can you believe this heat? For the longest time Mother Nature has us all thinking that summer will never come…then this…

Sigh and my so-called “penthouse” suite isn’t all it’s hyped up to be…well it’s not really a penthouse suite…it’s just on the top floor. But yeah, I’m sure it’s the hottest apartment in the building…and while I’m ranting about it, I might as well admit that I live next to the garbage chute too…it’s probably cooler than my apartment in there too.

Since I have no job, I now spend the hottest hours of the day at the mall. Not that I’m a shopaholic or anything, but malls are air-conditioned… sometimes I do pick up a couple things while I’m there though =P

I know you're used to the laughs and jokes here, but I'm gonna put those aside for a sec today. This weekend has changed my perpective on life.

Yesteday afternoon I check my messages...I hear my pastor's voice...a girl at my church had just died. The hospital had thought she had a flu and sent her home to rest, her sister came home from school the next day and found her dead. Their parents are on their way from Hong Kong to see her body...this Wednesday would've been her 16th birthday.

Tonight I called 911 for the first time. Some punk thought he was better than everyone else coz he's in some street gang and was bad mouthing, shoving and swinging punches at everyone...he shoved the wrong person, soon a fist hit his face, and two men were on the ground...Someone screamed for me to call the cops...death threats are thrown and I have a feeling they meant them. An angry man walks back in with a bruise, he swears revenge. I girl pulls out a knife saying that next time that happens she's gonna use it...use it to kill. She's already been to prison before...she doesn't mind going back..for life.

15 year olds dying along days before their birthdays...life on the street, where a human life is worth nothing. People shrug it off and say that's the "real" world...well what's so darn real about it?

Spoke too soon...just forget about that last posting...the person who was supposed to bring Debbie the Bunny "forgot" to...so he's still here and pooing up a storm. Darnit!

Have you ever put so much into a relationship and gotten nothing back in return…so you get so frustrated all you want to do is kick him…but when he finally leaves you, you don’t want hi to go? Well, that’s exactly how I feel right now.

Jesse’s friend left a rabbit at his place, and was gonna take the cute little fur ball to the Humane Society if no one would take him (and they’re not all that humane there), so I rescued it and volunteered to take it until we could find him a new home. When he arrived, he was frightened and locked up in a tiny smelly little kennel where he slept, ate, and pooped, with hardly enough room for him to turn around.
I don’t particularly like rodents, but I figured if he’s staying here he’ll be treated well. So I did much research on his diet, bedding, habitat etc…Bettina let me take her dirty old guinea pig cage (Ooff – the guinea pig now has a nicer bigger cleaner cage) and spent hours scrubbing the thing clean. I even made it a little cave to climb into with a platform for him to hop on (actually it’s just a cut open cardboard box…but still…). I even gave him a nice little water bottle bought him new food and everything. I was so excited, it’d be like the Blockbuster commercials with the rabbit and the guinea pig, what fun it will be…but…(there’s always a but)…it was nothing like it…all he does is sit in cage, eat…and then…of course…POOP! I thought it might be fun to let it out and play with it…but all he does is run away…all that effort and this is what I get. *sigh* he even scratched me once…

So I guess should be happy now that Debbie wants to take him off my hands, that someone else can clean his cage…but but but but but...he’s so cute and fuzzy…AIYA!!!
It’s too late now for second thoughts though, he leaves tomorrow for his new home. So long Poopey (just guess why I named him that)…hope Debs takes good care of you, and that you will live for us to meet again.

"Oh how cute!..."

No story to go with this picture, but I just thought I'd make it up to you guys for my prolonged silence with a picture.
So you guys can all temporarily occupy yourselves with OOOing and AHing at how adorable and cute I once was...and then let your imaginations go wild to come up with your own theories about what happened to turn this lovely little girl into a blue-haired teddy-stabbing freak =P

As a university student on a budget, I am constantly flirting with the fine line between microwavable and non-microwavable containers. Usually I come out on top, but today a recipe for a “mile high chocolate banana pie” required ½ cup of semi-sweet chocolate chips microwaved for 2 ½ minutes to a melted gooey consistency.
I reach for one of my roommate’s lovely China-town-like-flowery plastic bowls to do the job ignoring that fact that it is as cheap as it looks. All I could think of was MMM...melted chocolate…BUT at 1minute and 23seconds; I hear a snap-crackle-popish sound. DARNIT! Then in a state of complete panic I open the door and grab the bowl, forgetting that the funny sounds probably meant that something was wrong and that the bowl was probably insanely hot…which, of course it was. Thus almost burning off two of my fingers…the bowl escaping with serious burns and a disfiguration where I had grabbed it. Hm…wonder if I can still use the melted chocolate for the pie, huh?

So the subject read: Someone Likes You, immediately a four letter word runs screaming through my head…SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM SPAM, sending it straight to my trash along with the “University Diplomas Guaranteed” and “Get Rich Fast” emails. However, curiosity…plus the fact I didn’t get any actual mail caused me to venture into my trash can and find out what this foolishness was all about.

Turns out it’s from a website called Someonelikesyou.com, which claims to be able to find out if the person you like likes you back. What you do is register and enter the names and emails of all the people you like, and they’ll send them all an anonymous email telling them to register everyone they like, and if there’s a match, they let you know.

Brings me back to the 3rd grade when this girl I knew came up to me, said the same “someone likes you”, and made me guess who it was. I think I was a late bloomer in that area and somewhat of a tomboy coz I remember my reaction being “EWWW! GROSS!”, and then I think I went and climbed a tree or something.
But I grew up sometime later and the same statement brought about a very different reaction, causing me to spend hours guessing and going through every possibility…only to find out it was my dance partner in gym class who was this tall, lanky and funny looking kid with big teeth.

Haha, boys…funny to think how interactions with those beings went from “Eww he’s got coodies!” to “*Giggle giggle*…He’s kinda cute” to “Hmm…I wonder if he’ll ask me out/on a date/to prom…”
Reminds me of high school, what a big deal was made out of the first date/flower/teddy bear/article of jewelry; the anxiety, uncertainty and rush that comes with the so-called “dating game”…been 2 years now…so this email...wait...someone likes me?...maybe this…hmm…I wonder…who could it be?

AH…but I’m not in high school anymore...plus it could just be a big fat scam…AND I can’t think of anyone to register anyways…ah…*click*…DELETED…guess I’ll never know

Sorry Matt, I know I promised an update like ages ago…but you know those darn ditches, they’re just everywhere…

Was gonna wait till tomorrow to tell you about my attempts to play the drums, but all I can hear in my head is the rhythm Matt was trying to teach me…1.2.3.4.1.2.3.4.1.2.3.4…and I think you just throw snares and kicks in there somewhere…boom boom boom boom…hmm…maybe it’s just my head pounding from my headache…
Anyways, yes, I tried to play the drums…looks so easy, but is so hard…especially for one with absolutely no coordination to speak of whatsoever…I think my left hand’s demented.
I am quite amazed at how patient some people can be. I think if I were a teacher teaching me to play the drums I’d strangle myself or something. It was fun though, I actually got to play on the drums, and for a split second when I sat down behind the drum set I actually felt cool…but then I started playing…AIYA!
There were a few of us wanting to learn, so we took turns, and for a while Matt told me to practice the rhythm on my thighs with the sticks. Guess I was practicing too hard, coz I felt kinda sore the morning after, but never really paid attention to it. Then last night I got home and took a shower, and I noticed a big fat purple bruise on my left thigh, it looked like I was severely beaten by someone with a stick…wait, I was…from now on I think I’ll practice by pounding on an inanimate object...OUCH

Second night back from Campus Challenge, and surprise surprise, I got sick! Happens every time…coming back from Urbana I was sick for months. I must admit, I wasn’t too sure about CC this year, and was actually hesitant about signing up. But on getting there I started to change my mind. My small group was really really really really cool and I learnt so much from all of them. Was also cool just to see people I haven’t seen in a while…and show them that I hadn’t fallen into no ditch. DJ Rumble actually cared enough to remind to watch out for those darn things…he also tried to teach me to play the drums, but that’s a whole other story on its own. And on top of all that, some pretty intense stuff happened, and lots of lives were changed. So I guess the event was worth the pain and suffering that comes after it…hmm might even think about serving next year for CC…but we’ll see.

I set "Random Babblings of the Superfat One" as my homepage, so everytime I open up my browser I see that not so flattering picture of me in a Goofy hat. I did this not because I am self-obessed, but as a way to remind myself to update daily...but...obviously it's not working. Sometimes when the page loads I forget that it’s my page and read it like it's someone else's Blog…and of course wonder what kinda of crack he/she is on. At times I even expect there to be a new entry...I get disappointed when there isn't one...until of course I remember that I am the one who has to update it...

So here goes…

First of all, I think I can conclude that time spent in the shampoo isle has been proven useless. My hair looks and feels the same as it did last week, and I think of top of that I'm losing some of it. Which I guess is not necessarily a bad thing as I do have plenty of hair to lose...my hairdressers always said I had too much hair, one even threatened to charge me extra for the amount of labor she had to put into cutting it.
As for the moisturizer...I haven't grown scales, so I assume it's working well.

Operation Quarter Accumulation is going quite well...I have discovered a new way of obtaining those little nickel-plated coins. See, we have these coin-operated copiers on campus...and if you put in a Loonie and press eject...Voila!…4 shiny quarters...BEAUTIFUL!...although I do get shot some strange glances, as every other photocopier is busy making that humming-photocopying sound, while all mine does is go "clunk clunk clunk clunk" as the quarters fall out...I went to campus today just for this purpose…got like 10 dollars worth of quarters...I can almost smell the fresh spring scent of clean clothes...now all I have to do is drag my butt down to the laundry room...

Oh yes, and very very good news...I got my parents to change their minds. Well my dad's colleagues did when they read my blog and yelled at him for being cruel and not letting his daughter move back home...so my dad has promised me a cot at home if I have no where else to stay. My parents love me after all...I feel special!

Spent...no wasted a significant portion of my life standing in the Hair Care isle at Shoppers. My funky, kinda cool perm has died, and now I'm left with a full head of frizz.
So I’m trying to decide, do I have "dry/damaged" hair, is it "chemically treated", "dull and tired", or "over-stressed"...do I need it replenished, nourished, revitalized, hydrated or moisturized?

I think I read every label in that store...What do I want my hair to become "vibrant shimmering", "long and luscious", "shiny smooth", "smooth and silk" or should I pay the extra 95 cents for "shiny, smooth AND shimmering" hair.
Well I finally settled for a product prescribed for "dry frizz-prone hair" which promises "ultra-manageable", "incredible shiny" and smoother hair...so next time you see me, you be the judge.
Ok two more items on the shopping list, moisturizer and facial wash…“silky smooth” or “soft and smooth”…someone shoot me PLEEEEEEASE!!!

So I guess I have more readers than I thought I had. And if you read my guestbook you'll see that people actually noticed I had disappeared...which is comforting. A few actually thought I had fallen in to a ditch...sad thing is, no one came to check on me. If I had actually fallen into a ditch, they'd be sitting around having tea going "hm haven't heard from Connie in a while...maybe she's fallen into a ditch...oh well.....", and there I'd be...still sitting somewhere in a ditch...

If you hadn't noticed I haven't updated in a while...well I was thinking last week...hmmm if I got a nickle for everyone that's told me to update...I'd have like a whole 20 cents. I was just about to give up on this whole Superfatconball blog thing (not that the name will ever die). But I looked at my guestbook today...and there were THREE new entries within the last 2 days...Somehow my WRA buddies have managed to find this site...scary how news travels on the internet...(and I'm sorry Smitty...guess Wyer's even taller than I remember...and 6'5" dang you're tall!!) Well I have been decided to continue...So to those few loyal readers I have out there (namely, Amy, Lyds, Ernest and Wongobongo <-- not sure how loyal Wongs is, but he did tell me to update), thank you!

Conversation with my mother (part II)

Emailed my dad the other day asking for an uncle's number that I could use as a reference for my job application. He wrote back yesterday...blah blah...your mom and I are doing fine...blah blah...going to Europe...blah blah blah...uncle's phone number...etc...THEN...I almost fell out of my chair..."Jamie just called us this morning to tell us that she has a boyfriend".......AHHHHHH my little sister has a boyfriend!!!!! I know I know she's 17, and taller than me...but but but...she's my little sister...ahhh...

Well after I composed myself and decided I would feel happy for Jamie...after all she is following after her sister's footsteps (minus the near-death part), he's 5 inches taller than her and he's white. So I decided to call home to get all the nitty gritty details.

BIG MISTAKE! ...I had just invited the much dreaded conversation...right away my mother starts..."Connie, even your little sister has a boyfriend...you'd better get crackin' " ARGH! I only wish they knew how hard it is to find a decent 6'1", near-death caucasian male...but that's not the worst part...she says there will be absolutely no moving back home if I don't marry, and she even got my dad to side with her...means I will have to do my own laundry for the rest of my life...and spend eternity collecting quarters. Dad says as long as I don't think of moving home he'll provide me with a life-time supply of laundry quarters...mom says she'll even buy me a washing machine to keep me away. Even my parents, the people who are supposed to love you when nobody else will, and always be there welcoming you with open arms don't want me...how on earth do they suppose that I will find anyone!?!?!?

...well, single old and unloved...at least I'll have clean clothes!

FREEDOM FREEDOM.........SWEET SWEET FREEDOM!!!!!!!!!!!

...hm...no more studying...what do I do with myself now?

Me and my big sister



AHA!! Today is the day (as is every other day I guess) for me to be a bratty little sister and rub in my dearly beloved sister’s face that she is getting still older. And I can do this because she will be forever and ever my OLDER sister.

So yeah, Amy Happy Birthday…and thanks for all the fun; all the times we’ve laughed together, and those where I just laughed AT you. Thanks for the hugs and the fights, the good advice and occasional nagging. Thanks for always being there, putting up with all my strange ways and not being ashamed of being the sister of a complete weirdo.

Not good with all this sappiness, so I’ll stop here…so have yourself a blast Amy, coz geez…YOU IS OLD!!!!!

Suits, dresses, make-up, many happy memories and some sad goodbyes. A choice of roast beef, pasta or red snapper and 5 orders of bread. Piles of cameras, pens launched across the room, air-bourn packets of butter, a handful of annoyed dinner guests…and lots of love…Yup, you guessed it, what else but the ACF Annual Year-end Banquet.

We were the loudest table there...I blame Calvin for that. Shouldn’t have done so many crunches in the morning, laughed way too hard…can I say sore abs?
Steve wore a Buzz Light Year watch (actually my Buzz Light Year watch) and I wore a fitting black dress. Should have known better, dresses like that have no give.
Caleb came and sat at our table then left…we held his camera hostage, and much film was wasted on pictures of us with forks, coz Cal said “Let’s all hold forks in all our pictures”. I somehow ended up with one in my hair. I took many a picture of forks and other things…and the occasional person.
Roast beef was good. Kendrick was trying pretending that pasta was better, but he wasn’t fooling nobody…and the Carol said the shrimp with the red snapper was mushy…which proves my point; always go with the red meat.

Time to stand up and share about the year at ACF…So many people, so many experiences…Canaan is lost for words, I think he loves us too much. Ah the grads! Wendy…oh what fun times we had pigging out last year…Adorable Jessica will be far far away in Taiwan next year…Victor (that’s Mr Reeves to you) still doesn’t know where he’s going…Jesse…ah the pranks! And Canaan, dear motherly, “long-air”ed Canaan, what would I have done without you?

Camera flashes going off like crazy… Jesse and Rob picked up Alison…hahaha… group picture, all 50 of us, stick your head out!… Kendrick wants to be a girl?…OOOOO…Kendrick WITH all the girls, HE DA MAN! Let’s crash the guys’ picture…jump on them…AHHHH…I’m falling…

11:00pm…we’re getting kicked out…yet another year at ACF’s over…
*Sniffle sniffle sob sob* I'm gonna miss the grads…

Oh how I love you all!

For months my life revolved around one thing; six days of the week were there only for the sake of the coming of the seventh. I didn't particularly like that day or what it entailed; yet still it had control over my life. “So, what was that big day?” you might ask, well let me tell you. It’s none other than laundry day. Yes laundry, one thing you can avoided only if you can either afford to buy a new wardrobe every time you soil something, don’t mind smelling bad and having no friends, or live in a nudist colony. Since none of the above applied to me, laundry was, and still is inevitable.

Yet it was not the actual having to do laundry (as bad as that is on it’s own), but that fact that it costs $1.25 for the wash and at least 50c for the drying…all in quarters…i.e. 7 quarters per load, which adds up to 14 quarters for the two loads that need to be done weekly (and 21 for the weeks I wash the sheets).

At night I would plan the next day in my head. My days were mapped out so that I could obtain optimal amount of quarters. It governed how I got to school, what I ate for lunch, and everything else I did. I’d even make totally unnecessary purchases just to get quarters as change. One day I ordered a salad (and I HATE salad!!) just coz it would provide me with three quarters instead of the one that the chicken would as change. And as the pile of clothes in the laundry basket grew, so did the quarter’s grasp on my life… Ah…who could have guessed the power of one little nickel-plated steel coin.

Could he be the one???

Brian Lee: "Ronald is white... he could be 6'1"... and w/ that diet of his.........."

Well...I was thinking more of the Caucasian white...not clown make-up white. But thanks for the help Brian!...and I still luv ya Ronald =)

Ron and me.



I am in love...sliced potatoes (or that's what they claim them to be) fried to a golden crisp (in pure lard) and little nuggets dripping with the wholesome goodness (of pure grease), for the low price of $2...mmm...mmmm.

Had my 3rd MacDonald's fry/nugget combo this week. And despite much controversy over the matter, I still think MacDonald's fries are awesome and MD's is the place to go...and, as you can see, me and Ronald go way back...

The Alice in Wonderlad Test says that:

'You are passive and unobtrusive most of the time, but when you do wake up to reality you've got quite a bit to say. Even if it's pure nonsense. You may be cute, but that doesn't prevent you from being quite a twerp.'

hm...I think I agree with the nonsense and the twerp part...darnit...I'm addicted to online quizzes...

In response to Lyd's "a boy like this" and in continuation of my conversation with my mother, I have decided to post my criteria for the "perfect guy". Actually they’re not all my ideas…actually most of them aren’t…but anyway, here goes...the perfect guy for SUPA:

Criteria #1) 6’1”, no taller no shorter...One day back in high school, with nothing better to, Wyer and I tried to calculate the perfect height for guys. We concluded that a couple looks best when there’s a 3-inch height difference. Since we both wear 3-inch heels, 6 inches taller would be just righ. Which was lucky because our boyfriends were both 6 inches taller than us; Smitty’s 6’3” (Wyer 5’9”), and Mike was 6’1” (I’m 5’7”)…but God only knows what she’s doing wearing 3-inch heels to begin with…SHE’S 5’9”

Criteria #2) Caucasian…It all started back in 2nd grade in Edmonton, with a crush on Kris Davis, brown hair green eyes…or was it blonde hair blue eyes…wait brown eyes...or was his name Sam? Whatever, point being, he was white. But then I moved to HK and this preference became dormant for a period of several years while I drooled over Aaron Kwok and Andy Lau (I know, what was I thinking?!?!).
But then one day a friend Sharon noted how all Asian-Caucasian mixed children turn out really really cute…and I WANT CUTE CHILDREN…so white guys it would be! And to further enforce that I spent 2 years in a boarding school in white suburban Ohio…in too deep…can’t get out…All-(North) American baby! (And yes, the above-mentioned Mike was white).
White guys also tend to meet criteria #1 more often than their Asian counterparts.
I do have an occasional attraction towards African American guys. (Just in case Yu-Ling is reading this, I do NOT have Jungle-Fever), but since there is no real guarantee what the kids would look like, I think I’ll stick to white for now (I know my mom will be relieved to hear that…).

Criteria #3) Near-death, or in either a high-stress/ high-danger line of work…I know this sounds horrible, but this was Fitz’s brilliant idea. See this is his reasoning…I am incapable of staying in a marriage; firstly, I can’t be touched period. For those who have tried, you know what I mean, and for those who have not I warn you against it, coz some WILL get hurt (…and it’s usually me). Secondly, I can’t share a bed with anyone; if I even feel someone’s presence next to me, I can’t sleep! All my life, be it my sister, my best friend, sleepovers…and I refuse to spend the rest of my life sleep-deprived…BUT…I do want children; cute, Asian-Caucasian-mixed children for that matter! So Fitz decided that the best way for me to go is marry then wait for him to die…morbid I know…But Tony says marrying me to begin with would be stressful enough to kill anyone off.

BEWARE! Superfat...





Just a warning...after spending hours in a computer lab (and when people don't sign the guestbook I put so much effort into setting up....) I go crazy and break out into fits of violent rage...no wait...I think that was just Halloween two years ago...oops!

~ Tuesday, March 26th, 13:00. Connie walks into the Somerville house computer lab, she's relaxed, confident...she knows what she's doing. The assignment's done, well almost, just need to add the legend to the graph and then run it. She'll do it after the lecture; it'll take about 10 minutes...
14:16 (after the lecture), the legend's added, the last step to run the script file and print the graphs. She types the command "rossler2" into the command window and hits enter, waiting for figures 1,2 and 3 to pop up. The window for figure one appears...but then...........ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE!!!!! AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
The window freezes, and it's all grey...Connie clicks it hoping that it'll do something (keep in mind she's computer illiterate)...but nothing happens. She clicks something else...nothing happens. Then all of a sudden things start blinking at her. She opens her mouth to scream, but no sound comes out....the computer is possessed!!!...


Well ok, it wasn't that dramatic, but close enough, the freezing and blinking were all real. And three computers froze a total of 5 times during the 2 1/2 hours I ended up spending on the stupid thing. Rossler equation my butt!
Seriously though, what was my prof thinking...assignment 9, question2 asks us to integrate 2 sets of values then plot them three times each, from 0 to 300 with 0.01 increments!!!! That’s 30 thousand points each integrated twice, then plotted 6 times. No computer in those PUBlabs can do that without freezing about 20 zillion times over...what kind of crack was she on when she wrote the assignment!??!?!?!...

~ 16:46, been 2 1/2 hours, figures 1 and two have finally loaded...now only figure 3 left...it's loading, slowly but surely (or so Connie thought). She goes to Tim Horton's to buy a coffee, thinking it'll be all done when she gets back.... BUT...IT'S not.... frozen again. Connie throws a temper tantrum then finally gives up. Screw this 0.01 increment thing...she changes it to 10, runs the file again...ha!, completes in 48 seconds, figure 3 looks nothing like it should…should Connie change it..ie start all over again?...YEAH RIGHT!!!!!

Was going to put those graphs here to let you all see what a royal waste of time it was trying to produce them, but I don't have them on me (I left my disk in the lab, and there's not way I’m going back till the next lecture). I tried running the script file on my computer...and guess what, it froze...surprise surprise!

Where am I? Who am I?

Where's Supa????

Believe it or not, I wasn't always a freak...there was a time when the Superfatconball was your plain girl-next-door. Just another good little girl in a plead skirt and knee-high socks. Back in 4th grade, my teacher told my parents I was quiet and needed to talk more. 5th grade they thought I was a sad kid that never smiled...oh boy, if my teachers could only see me now.

SUCCESS!!!! Put a picture up!!!! YEAH!!!!! I know it's bad quality, but it's a picture none the less...One step closer to world domination!

look ye here...miss computer-illiterate (i.e. me) has figured out (with some help =P) how to add links to a webpage. Exciting stuff, I know (they're in the left green box under the archives if you didn't see them already). I even have a guestbook (it's in the top left blue box...just in case you missed it earlier)....please do sign it!
At this rate I'm going, pretty soon I might even have (*hold your breath*)....pictures here. Then I can tell people I have a homepage and it won't be that big of a stretch.
Working my way up there baby, started with a blog, have now some kinda blog-homepage hybrid...pretty soon I'll rule the world...yeah me!

I called my mother the other day. Actually I called my dad to ask about tax returns and such, but ended up talking to my mom anyways. And as these conversations always go, she somehow manages to squeeze in the same, "Connie do you have a boyfriend?"...And of course the answer same answer I’ve been giving for the past two years has been "No, mother!" This is then to be followed by some sort of advice on my so-called "problem". Since I can foresee conversations as such being repeated constantly into my late 20's, 30's and even 40's, I decided to take the risk of mentioning that staying single isn't really all that bad. I even went far enough to quote how my sister thinks I may possess the gift of singleness. BOY OH BOY did she not like the sound of that!

She asked in that fashion that mothers do, what I was going to do when I was 30, husbandless and all alone...Hmm, I thought about it for a sec..."Move back in with you and Dad", I replied. My idea was that I'd support them (with the money from that job I'm supposedly guaranteed to have when I graduate), we'd go on weekend golf trips, and we'd chill, and life would be great. I think I gave her a heart attack. She nearly screamed...she did not like the idea of that.

You see, my dad and I are very similar (or so I'm told), and my mother doesn't think she'll be able to stay sane if she has to put up with the both of us in her old age. So she's not going to take me in if I become an old maid...which means, *darn* I'd better find get married...which means (*double darn*) I'm going to have to find someone to marry.

SOME SPECIAL KINDA STUPID!

Skinny people irritate me! Especially when they say things
like, "You know, sometimes I just forget to eat."
Now I've forgotten my address, my mother's maiden
name, and my keys. But I've never forgotten to eat.
You have to be a special kind of stupid to forget to eat.

Things about life I learnt from people's AOL info's:

Sometimes, when it seems that my life is spinning downward in an ever-tightening spiral, like the murky water of a seemingly endless toilet bowl, I harkon back to my early childhood days and think, "if I only knew then what I know now, I never would have eaten so much taco bell"
Mikem60

"Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday."

"It has been said that man is a rational animal. All my life I have been searching for evidence which could support this. "

"Some see the glass as half-empty, some see the glass as half-full. I see the glass as too big."

"Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this."

"What can you say about a society that says God is dead and Elvis is alive?"

"Computers let you make more mistakes faster than anything except handguns and tequila..."


"The basic idea behind malls is that they are more convenient than cities. Cities contain streets, which are dangerous and crowded and difficult to park in. Malls, on the other hand, have parking lots, which are also dangerous and crowded and difficult to park in, but -- here is the big difference -- in mall parking lots, THERE ARE NO RULES. You're allowed to do anything. You can drive as fast as you want in any direction you want. I was once driving in a mall parking lot when my car was struck by a pickup truck being driven backward by a squat man with a tattoo that said Charlie on his forearm, who got out and explained to me, in great detail, why the accident was my fault, his reasoning being that he was violent and muscular, whereas I was neither. This kind of reasoning is legally valid in mall parking lots." - WRA2000

Ah the sun is out today...maybe it will be a good day...

I was upset about it yesterday, but I decided to give it a day to smarten up, but no...second day of spring and Joanie and I had to venture through a blizzard to get to the mall today. My trip to SportsCheck reminded me of some trek across the Artic Circle, and to think just last week the weather was so nice I climbed out of my lab window...

Let me explain that a little more, I'm sure if you were in my position you would have done the same.
Thursday afternoon, beautiful day, sun was shining, temperature was above zero, the grass was a muddy, just dried kinda green. And guess where I was, stuck in a Unit Operations lab. But, to my good fortune, the TAs left this little ladder (you know those little three step ones) leaning against the sink. And in some stroke of genius I ventured up it...it lead to the sink...oh my gosh, the sink...the next logical step of course was to step into it...so I did. And there I was, standing inside the sink, gazing out into the window infront of me.
Then I saw it, bright yellow and flying through the sky. Was it what I thought it was...oh yes there it was. My eyes were fixed upon it, watching it soar across the air, be caught and launched up into the sky again...yes, there it was, a frisbee. Before I knew it I was outside, standing in the balcony. Only to look back in and see Heather staring at me like I just climbed out the lab window...which indeed, I did. She laughed in disbelief at what I had just done, but I know she would have done the same if only she had spotted the ladder first. But that was soon forgotten, and we concentrated the rest of our time at throwing pellets at our TA and trying to get him to think the ceiling was gonna collapse.

FREAK TEST.....
Have any of you ever taken the freak test? I'm not talking about any ol' one, but THE one. You know it separates the real freaks from the wannabes.
I guess you really gotta be some kinda freak or another to begin with, for spending the time to answer 500 questions on whether you're a freak or not. But one day a long time ago, between writing up lab reports and studying for some exam, I did just that...I know...WHAT A FREAK!

I remember scoring a decent freak-rating, which, I blame on the strange company I am always in...Let’s see Kathy admits to murdering a Muppet and skinning it for its fur. Kristina's sworn to marrying Weird Al and naming her first-born Ezekiel-Jebodiah (however on earth you would spell that), and had dreams of us all getting shot at graduation. Shaum's the center of the universe (I swear he really thinks that!!!), and Sapna, was just Sapna...enough said!
Oh yeah...the other day, we figured out that drinking Minute Maid directly out of the bottle will lead to the earth's surface spontaneously combusting and us all burning alive...don't ask...

I'm a freak...need I prove myself any more?

I know most of you think I've dropped off the face of the earth...not totally true, I was just in Chicago for a bit...here's a bit of what happened, I might add some more later...

Greyhound

~5pm
Cannot…feel…my…toes… What on earth possessed me to wear skin-tight gator skin high-heeled boots on the greyhound? Thank God, there’s blood flowing to my feet again. 6pm…two hours down, seven and a half more to go. Should’ve chosen to go to Toronto instead…Tony Tony Tony, why do you have to be so far away? Why does Chicago have to be so darn far away?


~6:15pm
GRRR…customs officers are EEEEVIL! Do they really need to search through every piece of underwear I own?!?


~8:40pm - Jackson Station
I look up, taking a rest from Bilbo Baggins’ adventures, and see her. She struggles to get on the bus, takes a deep breath, and tries to squeeze down the isle with all her luggage. She apologizes and smiles to people she whacks on the head with her guitar. She’s about seventeen, pretty, not beautiful or gorgeous, but your girl-next-door kind of pretty.
After a bit of a struggle, she manages to shove her bags and guitar into the overhead storage bins, and sits down behind me.
The man next to asks her where she’s going with that guitar of hers. Out of Jackson she says. She’s lived there all her life and desperately needs to leave. She tells him she’s a musician, she was in high school, but is now off to Chicago for a gig she heard about a month ago. He asks her if she’s been to Chicago before, she says no, nor does she know anyone there. “What next?” he asks. Florida, she knows a guy there, and they’re always looking for people to play in bands, supposedly it’s THE place to start. I can hear the excitement, the hope, and the innocence in her voice.
I want to turn around and shake her, knock some sense back into her. Tell her to stop being so naïve, to go back to school, back to her parents, to stop daydreaming. But wait, I can’t tell her that. Who am I to dampen her spirits, shatter her dream?
I take a deep breath, let out a long sigh, and pray that she’ll be ok. I turn off my reading lamp and close my eyes. I hear the conversation behind me trail off, and I slowly fall asleep. And the bus continues on its way to Chicago, to make or break this one girl’s dream.

~11:30pm
“ We are approaching the Chicago station, for those who are concluding their journey on Greyhound, please make sure to take all your belongings with you, for those continuing on to…”
Finally I’m here…ouch those lights hurt my eyes…now where’s my other boot…my luggage…thanks driver…AH TONY!!!…HUG...so nice to see him…didn’t realize I missed this silly boy as much as I do! This should be a fun week!


Hockey
Chicago’s not the best place to be watching hockey if you’re Canadian. They were all trash talking and laughing when the US scored the first goal…but…hahaha guess who was laughing when Canada scored their 4th…and then their 5th one…hehehehe… Hahaha We Won We Won!!!
They threatened to hang me up by my ankles at that point…and invade Canada…but hey, we still won!!!!
GO CANADA!!!!


Some of Tony’s friends I met:
There are some characters at UC that I suggest you check out if you ever get the chance to.

Dave:
Tony’s roommate…a pretty strange kid indeed. Huge Red Sox fan, and loves everything about Boston. Makes smacking sounds in his sleep. He is capable of saying the most randomly inappropriate things, with which he can stop any conversation.

Phil:
Possibly the funniest guy I will ever meet. I don’t even know where to start describing him. First impression you’d think he’s gay, but he’s not (when I met him he was with his girlfriend). He says some of the craziest things, and can’t play the guitar worth crap, but will do so and sing such that you will actually want to listen to him. And end up laughing so hard you bust a gut.

Andy:
An absolutely adorable guy! He’s a total hobo (I can say that, he admits it himself), and he’s got the whole package, flannel shirt and all…but he’s totally cool and extremely nice. He decides when they need a fire in the fireplace (can you believe it a fireplace in a college dorm?). And entertains everyone on his guitar (he actually does play) and sings Bob Dylan. Hm…and he also claims to have a taste for squirrel stew.

ROOOOAAAAR!!!!! Some days I just feel like screaming....today would be one of them if I had the energy to do so. Three more days to go until......(temporary) freedom!!

Sigh...first they called me a FOB...now I'm some kinda messed up FOB with a yankee twist! Will I ever be normal???

Where did all my beautiful weather go? Sun come out again...please!!!!!

DID YOU KNOW?

I read somewhere that 21% of all photocopier damages are caused either directly or indirectly by people sitting on them and photocopying their butts.

...hm...just wondering...who's keeping count?

BEWARE!!!! SUPERFAT ONE ON ICE....

Just got back from TRYING to play hockey. Complete insanity (and I'm referring to myself). I could hardly skate, but then I grabbed a stick and turned into some form of craziness and was just charging all over for the puck...but I had no clue what I was doing and ended up ramming into walls left and right =P but now...ouch...so sore...ACK...I feel like I've just lost all my limbs...don't even want to imagine how hard it will be to get out of bed tomorrow morning for an 8 am lecture....ARGH!!!!

In very much pain,
Supa

believe it or not, I didn't turn my TV on once sunday to wednesday (i finally did for Friends on thrusday tho)...and if you know me at all you'll know what a TV junkie I am...so yeah that just goes to show how busy this week has been. School just all of a sudden got really really, and trying to get to everything from classes, to meetings, to church, ACF etc, has been some kinda insanity!
But finally the weekend's here and I can breathe a bit until the craziness starts up again.

Today was an awesome day(...even if I did have to give my communications speech).
ACF went to the local homeless shelter instead of having our regular meeting, and it was amazing. We weren't really sure what to expect, because not many people could make it coz of exams tonight and tomorrow morning. But it was exactly the number God in mind, any less and we wouldn't have enough people, but any more and we'd be intimidating. Even though the worship was thrown together last minute, it was very well recieved and some of the residents even asked for encores.
The testimonies that Rosey and Steve shared were really inpiring and even inspired one of the residents to come up and share his own testimony.
Oh, and Stephen's sermon was awesome too, very basic, but very deep. He spoke on the parable of the 10 coins. On how we, even as sinners are so precious in God's eyes, and how God's seeking for us who are lost...and when one sinner repents and turns back to God, the heavens are changed and the angels celebrate...well I'll just let you know there's a HUGE party going on in heaven right now. Because not one, but two accepted Him at the meeting tonight!!!

PRAISE GOD!

ah...if i had known this blogging thing would be so hard to keep I wouldn't have started it in the first place...but since I have started it, I guess I'll continue...

This has been a really really good weekend; jam-packed with activities and meetings, yet not draining at all...funny how that contrasts to last week's stress and all. Amazing how God can change our perspectives on things just like that!
Preparing for HYPE was a breeze, and the teens were really good...not destructive at all!!! Sunday school went pretty well; was a small class, but people seemed interested...and the Christ Awareness Week meeting was awesome. We got through lots of stuff, set deadlines and everything...YAY!!! And after all that, I still was able to make it to the Sunday night Bible study at Roger and Pam's (that I'd been meaning to go to all year, but never "had the time to").
I am soooo glad I went. Roger is so wise!!! I want to be like that...which means I'm gonna have to be studying the scripture alot harder.
I wish all of you could've been there for Roger's study...was sooo good!...It was really really good...it's kinda late, and I'm tired, but tune in tomorrow night and I'll try to summarize the study and what I learnt!

YAY GOD,
Connie

Accreted Crystalline Anthropoid Homologue (ACAH):
- Is a solar recyclable, compacted aqueous transition state hominid isomorph, assembled as a juvenile peer bonding mechanism
--->just a fancy way of describing a snowman =P

words of wisdom:
"It is fruitless to become lachrymose over preapitantly departed lacteal fluid"
---> translated: "Don't cry over spilt milk"
=)

WAH..can't believe I did it...two days in a row...early morning prayer meeting!!! (only snoozed once this morning =P )
Was really really good...if you're around the London area, we are starting to meet every thrusday, 7 am, UCC. COME ON OUT!!!
=)

"Father, I want You to hold me,
I want to rest in Your arms today.
Father, I want You to show me
How much You care for me in every way.

I bring all my cares
And I lay them at Your feet,
You are always there,
And You love me as I am,
Yes, You love me as I am."
(lyrics from Faithful Father, by Brian Doerksen, Mercy/Vineyard Publishing)

- Learning daily about God's faithfulness,
Connie

Ok...so I've rambled on forever now...hope that makes up for the days I've missed. Oh but don't worry, I'm not done...still have lots to share, but I need to be going to sleep now, and I'm sure you guys need a break off reading about me...so check tomorrow or something to see if anything new's up =)
Goodnight all!
CONBALL

Second thing learnt at retreat...that God really really is Faithful!!! I've always believed that, but God once again reinforced it. And not only does He provide, He does gives exactly what you need, when you need it!
So the next day at retreat, after my little revalation (if you don't know what it is read the post before this), I was sharing about it with Sheena over lunch. I was telling her about how the Chair of the Christ Awareness Week Planning commmittee had pulled out last mintues, and how everything just fell on me...Sheena looks at me, thinks a bit, looks at me again...and then goes..."hm...*thinks some more*...hm"...and then totally unexpectedly...she says "I might be able to help"...turns out her roomate Roxanne was on the Christ Awareness Week planning committee last year. She was really involved and all...and Sheena promises to go ask her for me...and Sheena wants to get involved too!! So the day right after retreat, she calls me back, Roxanne's in and she's not only helping...she's gonna take charge. And just like that, the burden was off me. All this time I had been worrying and wondering what to do about it, and all this time God had someone prepared to takeover!....WOW!

John 15:5 "I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." This was the first passage that kicked off our winter retreat this past weekend. This very familiar verse had me dumbfounded. I had heard it, recited it and quoted it about a zillion times, but never before had it had such an impact...it really did hit me that I could do nothing without Christ, not "just a little bit", "or some of it", but absolutely NOTHING!
I've always known that I should rely on God and that he gives strength, power and help...but I usually do that in desperate situations...after I'd tried it for myself. I think it's part of my personality; I like things in order, and when they're not, I have to do something to change it. I take a problem, think out a solution and map an action plan (probably why I'm an engineer). I like to think of myself as independent and able to manage on my own (that comes from those years in boarding school)...so this idea that I can't do anything on my own has never sunk in...until now.
If you've seen me at work, you'll know I never really get stressed; I'll be busy, tired, or over-worked, but I usually pull through without much trouble...but these past couple weeks I felt stressed. It started out with a few extra responsibilities, then things that I had planned started going wrong, and more responsibilities pilled on, and a couple people dropped out, so more fell into my lap...and more things went wrong...I kept grinding away at the work that had to be done (and let's not forget school work)... then one day I just looked at it all and I'll I could feel was hopelessness. And the worse part was that I felt I couldn't show it. I felt that I had to finish it, and that I would be letting people down if i didn't. I don't know if it was pride, or just plain stubborness...but that verse hit me like a slap on the face...I was working...me, Connie, LCAC spokes person, CAW treasurer, sunday school teacher, youth group councelor...I was trying to be used by God, but I wasn't letting Him do it...Now I know better; I don't do anything FOR God...God does things THROUGH me! It had taken me a while to learn this lesson, but I'm glad I did!!!!!

hmm...so people actually read this...or so I'm told. Wongs was getting sick of seeing the same post for the past couple days and yelled at me to start blogging again. It's kinda cool that other people are interested in what goes on in my little unimportant life...but what's cooler that I'm really starting to learn is that God's interested in my life. The past couple days God has been doing wonders in my life, teaching me, reminding me and humbling me...so many things I've learnt I don't even know where to start...

ok lots has happened...lots and lots of stress...but that brought out opportunity for me to learn and be reminded about alot of things. There's too much for me to tell you guys about now; I have a billion things to do for the retreat tomorrow and I still have a full day of classes coming up...but I promise I'll "blog" it all down with all the other things I know I'll be learning.
Just wanted to let you all know I'm still alive under all my work, and need your prayers!
CON

oh yeah...I was talking to Rob this morning at the bus-stop. We started talking about ACF, then retreat, then we moved onto the topic of the Holy Spirit (that's the theme of our retreat). So we were talking about prayer and stuff, and how we hoped that the Spirit would touch people and bring about some sort of revival...and then we got on the bus and started talking about Spiritual gifts, like tongues, prophecies and stuff, and for the first time I noticed that we were the only ones really having a conversation on the bus; which means that a lot of people were listening to what we were saying. The first thought that came to my mind was..."what will these people think of me, talking about such things in public"...but then I felt guilty for my thoughts...I was uncomfortable talking about God infront of non-christians. But we kept talking, which was a good thing and Rob shared an experience of his with the Holy Spirit...and it was really cool.
So I guess the experience was good...and I realized what I need to work on. I think sometimes I forget that God isn't only present amoungst my Christian friends...he's in every part of my life and everyone else around, me should know about that...so I'm gonna need to start letting it show more!

Remembering what a great God He is,
Superfatconball

the last page has been stapled and last assignment handed in...well last one for this week that is..can't wait, another two days till the weekend...but....then it all starts over again. "sigh" the endless homework cycle of the engineer-to-be. This semester the profs are really forcing us to keep up, either a quiz or assignment for every class every week...total insanity!!!...but I guess it is good for me in the long run. But somedays, I just feel like climbing into bed and never getting out. A day like that would be today.

Dreaming ever so fondly of sleep,
Supa

Prayers needed!...aiya...just looking at how much stuff I'm responsible for...Paul asked me last night to help lead bible study for retreat this weekend, Sarah's pulling out from Christ Awareness Week planning, Jesse wants help teaching sunday school, still have to do LCAC stuff, there's youth group and let's not forget school work. The stress hasn't actually hit yet, but just looking at all this is kinda scary...I'm really scared I won't be able to handle it, but there's nobody else really to do it...currently trying to pray for other people to help out and help tin setting my priorities straight...thank goodness J.Lo volunteered to help out with CAW planning!
Ah...this week is going on forever...can't wait for it to be over!

ah it's hard to have a meaningful conversation with people...I kinda feel i'm like "how's the weather..oh yeah and God really touched me last night..." Maybe coz I'm really not used to it or something, so I'm really gonna have to work on it!

Ok...enough superficial postings...I have a new New Year's Resolution (I know it's kinda late to make one, but this one's a big one)...I'm gonna be genuine.
Jesse just stopped by and we had a long talk about ACF, and we've been hearing it for a while now, that "AFC's just not the same".
If any of you talked to me at all last year, you were probably sick of my raving about how absolutely awesome ACF was and how much it helped me grow...and you've probably been wondering lately why I've been so quiet about it. I'll be honest, I wasn't wanting to talk about it...I think we've taken a blow from Satan...people are tired, burdened, and burnt out, and not as genuine. The enthusiasm's gone, and sometimes I feel almost obliged to go. I could ramble on now forever about things that aren't how they used to be, how wonderful things were last year, and how it sucks now in comparison, but that would only be letting Satan have his way...so starting today...I'm gonna do something about it! No more superficial conversations with people, no more holding back or being "polite" with what God wants me to be/do/say. So often I get so afraid to offend someone or scare them off that I hold back and miss out great opportunities to share what God's doing and get to know the other person better.
I want some real relationships based on something more than the the weather, fashion or how classes suck...I want to know these wonderful people that God has placed around me and talking about superficial things isn't gonna get me there...so as Jesse was saying just before he left..."share share share"...and I'll add to that ...CARE CARE CARE!
I pray that God really opens my heart and gives me that love for others. (And you guys had better pray for me too!)

sincerely yours,
the new GENUINE Connie

H.Y.P.E. H.Y.P.E. H.Y.P.E. H.Y.P.E.!!!!!!!
What is it?
H.Y.P.E. --> Here's Your Place Eternal

When is it?
Every 2nd and 4th Saturday of the month, 7:30pm

Who's it for?
Junior High / teens

What do you do at HYPE?
Learn more about GOD, worship HIM, and have fellowship with other teens, and have a blast!

hehe...we had our first meeting of the year last night...Oh I love my HYPE kids!...even though at times they can get pretty rowdy...no really rowdy...no extremely rowdy...AHHHHH...but I absolutely adore every single one of them!
I am so exctied about this year...we have so much cool stuff planned... and our next meeting Steph's mom invited us to have it at their house...and we're having hot pot....YES!!!...now if I could only figure out what to teach them for Sunday school...hmmmmmm

Give me one pure and holy passion
Give me one magnificent obsession
Give me one glorious ambition for me life
To know an follow hard after you

aiya aiya...the girls were talking about wedding rings today. Tiffany's, DeBeers...freaky stuff!!!

Nachos, Mozzarella sticks and sweet potato fries (...yes sweet potato...) just came back from McGinnis Landing...mmm unhealthy fried food at 1 in the morning! Now don't get the idea that I eat all the time, we just went after ACF because Steve Wong (aka Wongbongo) is in town from Germany. Was fun times, lots of love and laughs...*sigh*...I kinda missed having him around...but don't be telling him that =P

Oh yeah, we had our first ACF meeting of the year today...there are so many new people every week I almost feel like I'm new coz I won't know half the people. But no worries, I still managed to make a fool of myself inspite of that. Don't know how I let them talk me into being Marge Simpson for a skit...had my hair up in a pony tail on the top of my head with a blue scarf wrapped around that...AIYA!

someone remind me why I'm doing this again...engineering...ack!

yumyum...DQ Icecream cake...one of the perks of it being your roommie's birthday. Yup, Bettina is 19 now! Yeah, she's a young one, almost makes me feel old...thank goodness for even older people (namely Cindy and Matthea) who were around so I didn't feel THAT old.

backpacks, paper and pencils...ah yes, school has started once again! Was rudely awakened by the cruel beeping of my alarm clock way before I was ready to get up. But this semester it's better coz Bettina has 8 am classes too...it always feels better when you don't have to suffer alone =)

hahaha...Bettina said she likes looking at football players' butts...taken slightly out of context, but she said it all the same! =P

Cure for death by lightning:
"Dunk the dead by lightning in a cold water bath for two hours and if still dead, add vinegar and soak for an hour more. "
- Gail Anderson-Dargatz. The Cure for Death by Lightning

wasn't a big fan of the book...but thought this was kinda funny...someone should try it someday and let me know if it works!
- SF

mmm...hmmm....just had my first taste of meat after three days of eating nothing but plain white bread.....HOORAY HOORAY!!! the evil stomach flu has past and I can eat again!!!!

...feel ever so slightly sad today...probably because the holidays are over and all excuses to eat lots and be lazy have been all used up...and of course school is starting again. But added to that is a slight feeling of emptiness...you know, that kind you feel after something really good has come and then gone again. SIGH...I have just finished reading the Lord of the Rings (yes all three books) today. Such good books that I was entirely consumed by the adventures of Frodo (and even more those of Aragon =P ). Even the language was getting to me...my thoughts for once were carried out in proper english, and phrases like "come hither", and "such things shall come to pass" were used. But now I'm done, and I don't quite know what to do with myself anymore. Perhaps I will crawl into a corner and sulk...or go twiddle my thumbs?

Ah...only just started and already I have missed a day. I appologize to all whom I have disappointed (but I figure there are not many of you). But have no fears...Connie is still alive and kicking despite the past three days of near death, and will "blog" on!

Ok...I know this is not the most original thing to do, but with a new year come new resolutions. As all know most do not likely stick to them, but as tradition they must be made. So this year along with the usual ones like time and money management, staying in shape (or merely trying to get in shape) and surviving school, I have decided to try to keep a journal of all doings, thoughts and realizations in hopes to better understand myself and what I am doing with my life.

I am not sure who will be reading this, but if you happen to stumble across this log and have something to say please do email me at superfatconball@hotmail.com

But there is too much in my mind to be said at the moment, so I will just take this time to appoligize in advance for the numerous grammatical errors, speling misstakes and typso that I know are sure to come =P

So until I figure out what to write next, Happy new year, and may all new resolutions be carried out =)

- Superfatconball (as for the name, laugh if you like...i'm sure i'll come around to telling the story about that sometime soon)